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funeral

Just a questions poops out . My ex husb n i hv been divorced almost 2 years. He left us n hasnt been coming to see his child almost 3 years plus. The last he seen was when he was 1 years plus. Now my child is 5years old. The only person my child knows is my family, my ex mil n my ex sil. Even my ex fil never bother to see e child. My question is in e event if my ex mil or ex fil no longer around, is it a must to attend funerals? My child doesnt know anything n how will e child gonna react n behave? How is gonna impact on my child? If my ex husb force me that my child to attend? How? I hv sole custody n care n control . Ever since we divorced, not a birthday or seeing the child that matters to him? I need to know so i know watt to do in future. I hoped i can get gd advise from mom n dad outt here. Thank you.

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How about going to attend it urself instead of bringing ur lo too? I dont think that is necessary. But only u urself know how close the rship between ur lo and ur ex mil/sil. If u think that they are that close and u would want ur lo to acknowledge them, yeah u can bring ur lo. But if its just ur ex husband ask u to bring ur lo, i dont think there is any benefit for ur lo righth?

Anonymous

Hi, I am no expert but if the child is able to think for himself you can explain to him why u feel it’s important for him to pay respects. U can suggest that he goes but ultimately he can make the decision himself.. if he is super unwilling to the extend he is being “forced” to, then I don’t think it’s necessary. He will need to learn that we make decisions in life and whatever the outcome is later, whether he regrets or not, he needs to learn to accept that it’s his decision. Better than growing up remembering he was forced to do something against his will :)

Personally, I would at least give them the last respect. Without them, there wouldn’t be your ex-husband. Without your ex-husband, there wouldn’t be your child. I think, that much of a respect should be given. We must teach our child to be kind, sympathetic and respect others, not just elders, no matter how they are related to them.

Your child is still blood related to the grandparents regardless how bad is your ex-husband. You and your child should attend the wake, perhaps no need to stay too long. Your child should also attend when the cortege leaving for cremation, for you is optional.

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