Gave back another angel

#pregnancyloss #misscarriage Last year, May 2023 when I surrendered our first angel to God, my premie was with us for one day. Exactly one year, on her first birthday, we found out that we again were pregnant, with a minor complication - a subchorionic hemorrhage. This June 18, 2024 - woke up with minor vaginal bleeding. Immediately went to get an ultrasound, my ob was not available that day so the sonologist doesn't want to give any comment yet nor to confirm but when she showed me the screen, I saw it with my own eyes - my baby doesn't have a heartbeat. She said, I need to wait for my ob which will be available the next day and I should rest but if the bleeding will progress, I can call them. Got home from the ultrasound clinic around 3pm and had the heavy bleeding around 8pm. That was the longest 5 hours I have had in my life. Having to sit there in my room, waiting for what will happen next, contemplating whether to accept it whole-heartedly or still wish for some miracle. I am still denying it since I don't have yet the official reading with my ob, convincing myself that I still have my baby with me, that my ob will call and inform me that my baby is fine and I just need to rest and drink some medicine. Then there's also a part of me that just wanted to accept our faith, that we again have another angel with God - and so I asked Him, I begged for a sign, then here, I stumbled upon this verse "It is all clear, when it is God's will." God already answered me, I don't need to be confused, I don't need to pretend. So I prayed again this time, asking for His embrace. I asked Him for calmness and peace, I poured my heart out like a child hungry for her mom. After a few minutes, contractions and heavy bleeding begin. Right there and then - I knew, I sent back another angel to Him. "For God is not the author of confusion, but of peace, as in all churches of the saints" 1 Corinthians 14:33 KLV

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Nakakalungkot ang naging karanasan mo ng pagiging buntis at ang hindi inaasahang pangyayari ng miscarriage. Mahirap talaga ang ganitong sitwasyon lalo na't nagdaramdam ka ng emosyonal na pag-asa at pagkabahala. Sa mga ganitong pagkakataon, mahalaga ang pagiging positibo, pang-unawa sa sarili, at suporta mula sa mga taong malapit sa iyo. Mahalaga rin ang pahinga at pag-aalaga sa iyong sarili pagkatapos ng pangyayaring ito. Nawa'y maging malakas ka sa panahong ito. Huwag mawalan ng pag-asa at alalahanin na lagi kang may kasama sa lahat ng pagsubok na iyong haharapin. Kasama ka sa panalangin, at sana ay mahanap mo ang kapayapaan at lakas ng loob sa mga susunod na araw. Kung ikaw ay nais makipag-usap sa mga nagtatalakay tungkol sa miscarriage at pagbubuntis, maaaring makakatulong sa iyo ang pagsali sa support group o forum para sa mga kababaihang katulad mo. Nakakabuti rin ang pakikipag-ugnayan sa iyong ob-gynecologist para sa tamang pangangalaga at suporta. Tandaan na ang kalusugan ng iyong katawan at emosyonal na kalagayan ay mahalaga. Ikaw ay mahal ng Diyos, alalahanin mo na lagi kang may karamay at gabay sa lahat ng oras. https://invl.io/cll7hw5

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