To my parents and to the father of my child,
These days, I carry a heaviness inside me that’s difficult to explain. You are the people I love most, and yet it is because of you that I feel this overwhelming sadness in my heart. I want to be angry, but I can’t. Because the truth is, I love you deeply, and no amount of misunderstanding can ever change that.
I know I’m far from perfect. I’ve made mistakes, and I’m still learning. But right now, everything feels so heavy and confusing. My mind is a mess, and my heart is even more so. With everything happening in my life, especially in this new chapter I’m about to face, I need you more than ever. Yet somehow, I feel so far away from you, because of the hurt I’ve been carrying inside.
To my parents,
I know I’ve disappointed you. I know I’ve caused pain, and that pain never leaves my heart. I feel your concern for me, and I know you only want the best. But sometimes the words you say, even if they come from love, cut me deeply. I’m sorry if I seem distant, and if it looks like I’ve hardened my heart. Truth is, this is just the only way I know how to look strong, so I won’t bother you with my burdens.
But if you only knew how much I long for your comfort, for your embrace. I miss the feeling of being cared for. I am so tired, and all I want is to feel safe in your love again. Please forgive me if I’m not able to say this out loud. I need you, now more than ever.
To the father of my child,
If you only knew how much I love you and how much joy it brings me to carry the child we once dreamed of. I still remember how happy we were, imagining this future together, becoming parents, raising a child, building a life. But now, that joy is mixed with sorrow. Not because I don’t want this child, but because you’re not here the way I need you to be.
Yes, you are physically present, but something between us has changed. And that’s what hurts the most. I feel like I’m facing this dream alone, something we once promised to do side by side. I want to blame you for the pain, I want to be angry at you for leaving me emotionally when I need your presence the most. But even in all that, I still wish for us to find our way back to peace.
I pray that in time, I find healing, for the pain I feel, and for the distance that now exists between me and the people I hold dear. I hope the day will come when all this bitterness fades, when my heart can fully forgive, and when love can take its place again.
Despite it all, I remain hopeful. I believe that things can still turn around, and that someday, we will all understand each other better. I pray for strength, not only for me but for all of us. Because soon, a little soul will come into this world, and I want to welcome that child with joy, love, and peace in my heart.
I may be struggling now, but I am choosing to move forward with faith. I will keep hoping for better days, for reconciliation, for forgiveness, and for a brighter tomorrow. 🌻