Not sure if it's just me but is it normal that husbands tend to want their own "space"? Mine asks for movie nights (we do go for it from time to time), asks if my LO can sleepover at my in laws on some days (when we return home late), plans to attend events (and not be bothered about asking whats the arrangement with the LO), asks if we can get someone to babysit while we do groceries or go somewhere.. apart from that, when he's with our LO, he'll spend about 5-10min playing with him and then he will be back to doing his own things. He cant sit still and stay at home to look after our LO. He has to go to places.. it's like he's bored. I just hate to think that he feels like our LO is a hassle to be with. That's the whole point. He's 6mo now. I, on the other hand, feels that our LO is our responsibility but we barely get to spend time during weekdays with him. I want our LO to be home with us everyday. I wanna bring him everywhere with us unless it's really troublesome to do so or if i feel that we'll be in a situation where it's hard for our LO to nap and rest. I plan my schedule and have our LO in mind - where does he go to, what time will i be home to catch him before his bedtime, etc. Yes, im a mom. So naturally i tend to be more attached to our LO i guess? Am i just being sensitive or is that really how men are, in general? I would really like to understand before this becomes a topic of argument. Dont get me wrong, he's a wonderful husband and dad. Just feel that he's selfish for always trying to do things that are "convenient".

7 Replies

I guess it depends on the upbringing. My husband wasn't bought up by his own parents but "others". My in-laws said they have no "baby" luck or time to take care of children. My husband spend most of his time alone and earn his own living. Even when he was bought back to stay with my in-law, they make him take care of his grandparents. He never ate home cooked food before etc only outside food. Due to that, this is how he treat our children now. He think as long as he provides food and money, he is a "Father". I got to spend a lot of time to explain to him and using his childhood as example to "coach" him and get him to work with me. After 4 years of being "Father", he still go into his "selfish" mood sometimes. However, he do love the kids alot just that he do not know how to show his loves as his parents weren't there to guide him. Even now my in-laws treat my kids as "toys", only come when they have no activity that day.

I think is individual not whether is a man or woman. After all your baby is just 6 months old and that means ur Husband is just a dad for 6 months.. Give him some times to adapt and give him more responsibilities. At times even you can handle your lo yourself, get him involve as well. Even if u can make arrangement to take care of lo throw the question back to him. Men at times will rely on women is ok but not always.. If u do everything urself that to men he thinks that u can handle I involve for what

I think it really depends. Men are at times like children themselves. Youll be surprised that maybe he is jealous. Lol. I know it may seem pretty silly. Matter of fact, men are still humans. You need to speak eith him. I always say communication is vital. Another possibility could be he is feeling worn out. Well fathers dont have what we mums have. Talk to him, and i hope it would work out for you. Meanwhile, id try to be as supportive as i can. :)

How about trying to fix a date night out?

Sounds like he needed his space and also the "we time". Many a times when baby comes along.. hubby s position n needs took 2nd place and they can feel being ignored. Give him time and nuture ur relationship.. give him a lover s attention too then he would be willingly to do things with u.

=X i think it depends but man does need his alone time. We call it moment of peace. But my moment of peace is with my son, I like to go out with him without his mother~! We go to library and NTUC to look at stuff, he can't talk yet but he is as curious as me.

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It depends. I actually suggested letting my 9mths old stay at my parents place for a few hrs while we go out n enjoy our wedding anniversary but my hb wanted to bring my Son along instead

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