5 Replies
Hi, Father of a 23 month old and 4 month old boys. I have been through the "drought" that you have been speaking of and here is my experience which I hope you can pass on to your husbands and maybe you can have a glimpse into what is going through our mind in these difficult times. My wife sex drive was almost non existent for about 6months after the birth of our sons which isn't a bad thing...the body needs all the resources it can muster to focus on recovery. I was struggling with it but at the same didnt want to trouble her apart from nursing our sons. I do help out when I can but only can do so much as my sons prefer my wife over me. Side note, am used to that to. When the drive became unbearable for me. I sat down with my wife and talked it out. After that we did have sex...but not enough for my drive to be sated, it's actually quite annoying for me. I tried doing other stuff to take my mind of it. Like a favourite hobby. For me it's gaming and listening to music. It did help for a couple of weeks. Then out of the blue my wife suggested to get a sex toy. She had been thinking about it and she is ok with that idea. She wanted to have sex too but just not in the mood which I understood. We decided to buy a toy for me and for her. It can also spice up in our sex life as she never had a vibrator be fore and was curious. Tbh, of course it doesn't feel like the real thing, BUT it's a small price to pay if I don't want to trouble the missus with my carnal instincts. And so far so good. We do have sexcations and it's wonderful, and in between I'll use my toy. So my advice, surprise your husband with a sex toy and maybe buy one yourself too to increase your sex drive at your own time. Or, have a HTHT with your husband and explain what is going on and see whether buying sex toys might solve the problems. There are many local online adult stores in Singapore that deliver discreetly. On a side note, I find it sweet that you have your husbands needs in mind. I always feel bad for wanted to have sex cause there is a already so much going on for my wife and my needs shldnt matter, but I am only human:( Hope I didn't come of as a creep. Just wanted to help. Good luck Ben
Me too. It took me some time to overcome the feeling. Use lubricant or condom and do it slowly..... Men have their needs..... I do not want my hubby to cheat on me because I deprive him of sex. Moreover from pregnant till after giving birth, it's almost a year..... He may not be able to restraint tempting sex from others in the long run. Sit down with him and let him know your feeling and both of u work out something from there....
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4months is still a bit too early as the wound is still healing. Let your husband know to go slow and easy. Important is to keep below lubricated. it will be easier.
Me!!!! I have phobia too. But mine is because I don't want another child. Also I have no urge or mood at all. It's been a year!!