I would never consider living with parents and in-laws because no matter how good our relationships are with them, conflicts like what you'd describe would happen. When there is a dowager empress, the new one will find it hard to rule in peace, they say. I remember attending a marriage course years ago and the instructor says that if the MIL is difficult (usually is), and the son doesn't want to do anything about it, you can try going through the FIL. FILs are generally easier to talk to. For example, in your case, I would tell the husband and tell him to talk to his dad about his mom's behaviour. If all else fails, I agree with Tresa, make the decision to move out and have your own space. Sometimes even the biggest country cannot hold two queens. Good luck!
It is so easy to find fault in someone, especially when living together. Have a chat with your husband. Ask him to ask your mother-in-law point blank what exactly does she expect you to do and why is she always so unhappy with you. But it is important he does so in a non confrontational way (or she may think that you are trying to sabotage their relationship). If not, if you feel up to it, ask her yourself. Some mother-in-laws, when they can feel your sincerity in trying to make things work, may become less critical. Though I cannot say that it's the case for all. So it really depends on your mother-in-law's personality. Have a chat with your hubby, and see which approach may be the best (as he should know his mother best). Hang in there mummy!
It seems that no matter what you do, she will find fault with you. Hence, I suggest you really sit and talk to your hub about it as this is his mother. Your mil might feel that u r stealing away her son or u r not as good as her in caring for your hub. My friend's mil was like that and the breaking point was, mil scolded her till she cried. The couple eventually moved out and it actually helped the situation.
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