I would never consider living with parents and in-laws because no matter how good our relationships are with them, conflicts like what you'd describe would happen. When there is a dowager empress, the new one will find it hard to rule in peace, they say.
I remember attending a marriage course years ago and the instructor says that if the MIL is difficult (usually is), and the son doesn't want to do anything about it, you can try going through the FIL. FILs are generally easier to talk to. For example, in your case, I would tell the husband and tell him to talk to his dad about his mom's behaviour.
If all else fails, I agree with Tresa, make the decision to move out and have your own space. Sometimes even the biggest country cannot hold two queens. Good luck!