11 Replies
It’s ok babe… there are a lot of people who give comments when they themselves have not been through pregnancy.. each pregnancy itself is already different and only us as pregnant mummies know.. maybe it’s hormones that make you feel upset.. mayeb when your hormones are more settled, probably you will feel actually it’s ok .. we can’t control other peoples mouth.. Like I have my close family asking me “why you keep crying? U need to be strong and emotionally stable.. if not it’s stressful for your husband” but the fact is they don’t know sometimes I can’t control my emotions and etc .. it was abit hurtful as well.. but now I have entered my last trimester , I think somehow I am much more stable.. and looking back , yes they are not sensitive with their words but well it’s not a big deal because they have not experienced it.. so just let them say what they want.. and only share things with those experienced mummy , they will be a better person to speak to!
Yups,I've also had a friend who commented tt my pregnancy looked OK and quite easy, and everyone who's been pregnant before would like that every pregnancy is a big challenge,both mentally and physically. But yea,I just replied that it's been a smooth pregnancy, didn't bother to say more coz my friend is a guy with no kids, so even if I did start saying what Im experiencing, it would be pretty much pointless. I try not to take it to heart, he didn't mean that I'm having an easy time,but that my symptoms were not so terrible that I was incapacitated. I see it from the pov that I'm lucky not to experience what some mummies had gone through, such as needing bed rest, medication to support the pregnancy etc.
Sometimes they don't mean to hurt u, it's just that they are not aware of the challenges as they have not experienced it. Or perhaps the people around them really did have an easier pregnancy. My pregnancy sucked this year. Was bedridden most of the time and felt really horrible. But I didn't really share much with friends or on social media. So they don't know. I think it's OK to share with your close friends briefly on the struggles and hope they understand. If they don't, it's also fine, hopefully ur husband or family members can support you. If not, the mummies support in such platform can help too. Cheer up and stay positive.
You are not being too sensitive babe! This is super normal when your body is flooded with pregnancy hormones... it will continue for some time even after delivery in fact. If it is a close friend indeed, I would personally choose to let her know that hey, I dont think you meant to hurt me with what you said that day, but it made me feel like my experiences are invalidated and hurt my feelings. If it is not a close friend, I would choose to let it slide but keep him or her at arm's length to minimize future impact on my wellbeing. Chin up! You are doing well mommy!!
She probably made that comment because she hasn’t actually gone through before, even though you shared the symptoms but it’s hard to understand if she hasn’t actually been in your shoes. Try not to be so affected, if she’s a close friend and you know her character well, maybe she doesn’t actually mean harm and didn’t know that comment hurt you. But if she’s someone with toxic behavior then please do stay away for your mental health!
Usually the ones who havent been pregnant gives the most insensitive comments. But we must understand that they don’t know or understand what its like being pregnant and to be a mother. Forgive your friend for being ignorant, but stay away for your own mental health. I’ve been thru the same and i chose not to meet her anymore until she actually becomes a mother too and i will try my best to be there for her.
My best friend said the same thing to me but I took it as a compliment! There are bad days for sure but I’d like to think that I’m generally positive and that’s the best for my baby. I also don’t wanna come across as a whiny person even during pregnancy! But that’s my perspective, you should be as comfortable as you should be and be yourself during your pregnancy without worrying about anyone else.
Hi mummy, I had to avoid my best friend of over 20 years bcos she was being insensitive towards me and my pregnancy. What I've learnt along this pregnancy journey is to prioritise health and be close to those who give support. I felt disappointed with her actions, but please always prioritise your mental health. Surround yourself with only positive words and people. All the best mummy 💕
There’s people who will keep saying things, we just have to concentrate on what’s important and positive things for ourselves and for the baby. My cousin sister also recently said why did I get pregnant too early after marriage before never enjoying life. I was hurt too but I got over it
Hugs. Stay away from such ppl, for the sake of your wellbeing, especially during pregnancy. You need all the positivity you can get. Get as much rest as possible. Take care