as a mom it's important to me how my kid would respond to me. how will I know if I'm already controlling my kid or guiding him?

When I was a child, I remember throwing tantrums and talking back whenever I felt that I was being controlled. Obviously, my parents will not take to this nicely. I suppose you can look out for negative behaviour from your child -- throwing tantrums, talking back, little signs of rebellion, scared of trying things and asking for approval for everything he does are some signs to indicate that you might be controlling your child instead of guiding.

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