Mil and husband

Hugs. Oh dear feels so sorry for you as it’s an awful feeling not to feel love from your spouse. Firstly, she’s the blood mother and secondly her best “advantage” over you is playing the victim card of losing a husband and being lonely and my DIL still acting like this (possibly what she has been telling your-husband-her-son behind your back) I agree with others that she’s jealous and scared of being alone and so possibly trying to distant you and her son, so that she can have her son back. Unfortunately she won’t understand that this is causing her son’s marriage and her grandchild’s childhood. Not good for children to grow up hearing seeing parents quarrelling and grandma finding faults with mum?! I’d prioritise my child above all and talk things out with my husband, from the perspective that it’s not healthy environment for the child and then move on to say that how it’s badly hurting you emotionally. However, if he is unable to reason things out and blindly side his mum, I’d move out back to my parents place. You too is someone’s else daughter so why should a 60yo treat you like dirt and let you get scolded by your spouse.

My MIL made my husband go back to her house and stay overnight for 3 days a week after the first month of our marriage. I get it that she wasn't well during that period, but we could've made other arrangements like visiting or buying her dinner everyday. As much as i think she cant let go of her son, my friend also reminded me that after all they're mother and son - who are we to question that bond. After the arrival of my LO, she also gets jealous all the time. I have already gone from being angry and frustrated to just ignore her. I respect her as someone older, that's all. That makes things easier and me happier.

Maybe she feels insecure and jealous. You may want to give them so space and ignore whatever she says. Tell your husband you don't feel his love and see how he reacts. He may want to spend more time or give in to his mother due to she just lost her husband. You may also want to try to bit cold towards your husband and see whether he panic. Take care.

She probably have depression due to loss of her spouse and the only person she can depend on is her son. Try putting yourself in her shoes and understand how u can help. Its not easy, hopefully there will be a positive way out. Probably she just need a lot of family support at this point of time.

Hope things will improve for you over time