Mama, first of all, tahniah sebab dah bertahan lebih setahun, itu bukan benda kecil, itu satu pencapaian yang luar biasa, especially bila buat tanpa sokongan suami pun. Ramai mama yang saya kenal pun pernah rasa exactly macam you, tertekan, rasa nak give up, tapi yang kept them going was knowing the choice is theirs, bukan orang lain punya. Keputusan sama ada nak teruskan atau berhenti tu hak mama sepenuhnya, kalau mama teruskan, it is admirable; kalau mama decide to stop for your own mental health and wellbeing, that is also valid and okay, because a calm and happy mama matters just as much as the milk itself. My friend went to a lactation consultant at a government hospital and said just having someone professional listen and validate her feelings without judging already helped her so much, maybe that kind of support could help you sort through your feelings too. Do speak with your doctor or a lactation specialist about how you are feeling, sebab mental health masa menyusu ni sangat penting and they can guide you with care.