10 Replies
Sending you love and hugs. Be kind and gentle to yourself. I’m sure your husband love you and your baby. It is understandable that with the arrival of a newborn, both your routine will change drastically. Hence both of you need time to adjust to it. At such situation, both of you need to be more mindful of how each other feel. Communication and understanding is very important. Try to empathise with each other. He is not putting you down or blaming you for not doing more, he is only sharing his feeling with you. And for you it is the same. What I read is both of you are shouting out loud of your respective exhaustion, which is totally understandable. Do sit down and work out what can be done. Example, get a part time helper/nanny, but a vacuum/moping robot. Anything that help to share the loads. It is not worth fighting over who should do what and who should do more or less. This is a partnership, both share the loads, sometimes you do more, other time he do more. If both are too tired, get help. Take good care and don’t let negative feeling or thought eat into you. Be empower to take charge and make positive changes to be in control. A happy mama, a loving and united family. God bless you and your family. May love, health, harmony, happiness, surround you and your family. ❤️
Hugs to u mummy! I feel u too. After my CN left, me & husband struggled to take care baby also. Our family not in sg & we don’t have helper. Me & husband discuss & we decide he do the ‘night shift’ while I do ‘morning & afternoon shift’. I do household chore as many as I can manage & while baby is sleeping. We also order tingkat for our dinner. Even then, during weekend, my husband can just playing games while I fed baby, wash baby bottles, hang clothes, prepare dinner, wash my baby dirty clothes due to poo. And I explode tell my husband to at least help a bit. I think talk with ur hubby is important. Say what u think and feel & please don’t be too hard on ur self. If u have no issue with $, i suggest u hire helper or part time cleaner to do housecleaning. I’ve been on ur position. The struggle is real & I also keep crying in the first 2 months after I give birth. Remember ur baby need u. Happy mummy = happy baby!
It is normal to feel emotional and blue after giving birth. I did feel very upset and struggled to fight that depression feeling when hubby turns out not as helpful as I expected him to be. Yes he did the household chores but he did not help with baby at all except when I need to take a shower or use the toilet. But on hindsight, I should have understood earlier that the birth of a baby must have been emotionally and physically exhausting for him and he might have been feeling overwhelmed as well. Additionally, with the presence of the newborn, hubby & I might have disconnected with each other as the focus is now all about the baby. I guess it might have better if there has been better communication. Hugs to you, fellow mummy! May you feel better soon. Please try to let your hubby know that you’re struggling. Maybe you can ask him if he’s feeling okay too. 💛
Hi, Sending you all the love and hugs. Taking care of a new born not just take full time and attention of the mom but the full family needs to be supporting. Initial days of becoming a mum and taking care of the baby can be overwhelming. I would suggest that try to transparently speak to your husband about this and share your feelings to each other and talk it out. I am sure it will get better after that. It is just a new chapter of life which takes time getting used to
I feel you. First month I have confinement nanny so it was ok then when nanny left, I realised that husband don’t really like to do all these so he got us a helper. Solved all the problems. Everyone is happy. You should make a stand on this otherwise he will “bully” you in the long run. Seen too many selfish men like that. Either he help you or get someone to help you.
Communicate with him. Try switching roles for a day. Make sure u pump enough for him to feed baby for that day. In return you take your time off baby and do your house chores. Hope things will work out for you. Else just ignore whatever hubby is saying, house chores is not important. You and your baby wellbeing is.
yes please have a chat with your hubby... get external help (part time cleaner) if financially possible, or help from parents/in laws/close friends, you should be doing your confinement now and nursing your health back. sometimes a good 2-3 hours nap daily is all your need to keep things going. Be strong sister!
it is normal to cry when baby just arrived. you feel overwhelmed. in your case, you need to get extra help from parents, in laws or part time cleaner. i was struggling and made myself and my husband very miserable. we have a helper now and it makes motherhood more enjoyable
Lol. Sorry but you sure he’s the father and your husband? If he doesn’t want to be involved in taking care of the baby then I dont think he should be involved in baby making either. When making baby that time got complain tired? Now complain tired for what?
I feel u . In my case , I asked help from my parents . This way , my husband won't be feeling too overwhelmed with housechores . Sit down and talk to your husband . Let it all out . Open up the conversation .