I can understand how you feel. From what you described, his long term negativity thoughts and anger management could cause conflict in the long run. Not sure if all along he is like this but I would suggest to protect yourself from being pregnant. When you got pregnant for the second time, did he really want to get married, or it was purely his parents who suggested it and went along? For trying second child, apparently it seems like he wants it just because someone says it will be a different gender, it don't seems practical to me from the way why he wants another child. Do not forget there is always 50% chance of boy or girl, he/she is still your kids. If the second child gender same as first, what is he going to do? Get stressed up and angry again? I don't think he is ready for parenthood, and he wants child for wrong reasons.
When I got pregnant for the second time accidentally, I was very stressed up. My chest was very tight whenever I start thinking of how to juggle a newborn and a school going kid, and husband seems stressed because of sales target, and his mum is unwell at the same time. Eventually we choose to terminate. It was a hard decision but I believe we are being responsible for our current family by being happier and less stressed up...
Benedict Tang