Just a rant

Question

Im a young mum of 2 kids aged 2.5yo n 9.5mo, Im turning 21 in a few months. Im married btw. Anyway, few days ago I brought up the topic of celebrating my 21st n he thought it was so random n said if I want to celebrate just go ahead. I know he isnt really a birthday guy but I was just expecting him to do something simple at least? Its my 21st after all. Anyway, hes fine if I were to go out n have him look after the kids but my youngest constantly looks for me n I honestly wont feel peace if I were to just go, furthermore he can be quite rough n impatient with the kids n has never had to handle or settle both kids on his own for more than 1hr. We live on our own n are the sole caregivers of the kids so no family to help.

Jan Samson · Answer

Hi mum, first of all waah 21 with two little ones already is really a lot on your plate, so I can understand why this birthday feels important to you. Honestly, from what you shared, it sounds less about wanting a big celebration and more wanting to feel remembered and appreciated by your husband. Since he doesn’t seem to naturally think about birthdays, maybe tell him directly what would make you happy, even if it’s something simple at home with cake, takeaway, and him taking over the kids for a few hours because sometimes they really don’t get the hints.

Mama syisyi · Answer

Honestly, you are doing so much at your age and it is completely okay to want your 21st to feel special, that feeling is valid and you are not asking for too much. Maybe you could talk to him again, not as a random request but to help him understand that this milestone actually means something to you, sometimes husbands just need it spelled out a little more directly. It might also help to plan it as a short outing where he has a simple routine to follow with the kids, so you feel less anxious leaving lah. You deserve to feel celebrated, even if it is just in a small way.