15 Replies
It looks like that was how exactly he was brought up and hence he doesn't think or feel there is a problem to it at all. I suggest that you should voice up that this is your own little family and you have the needs to have his attentions instead of feeling like a single mom. Some men needs to be told directly and not indirectly, especially some keywords like: Happy and healthy family, broken, depression, unbalanced, future impacts, positivity, role model, negativity, leader, social worker, couple/ family counselling, needs to be brought up. If words are not working, draw a flow chart, if that's is still not working, pay sum of money for consultations. That's my aggressive way of handling. Lol But that's for us. Mummy, cheer up and stay strong. Follow your instincts and do what you think is right, but positively. hugs.
Hang in there. The 1st 5 years is not easy for Mummy especially. Try talking to your husband. Make him understands how u r feeling. Try family outing together at least once every two weeks first. Gradually once a week on weekend. As a parents its two way not one way. Sharing responsibility and upbringing of the children is very important for both. If your husb thinks that family is nt important, sorry its too late for him to realise. Kids will just depend on the Mother. Take care Mummy, i hoped it goes some sense to your husb. You stay strong ok.
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Where u stay? Come make friends with my kids. And we can go out tgt! My hub used to be same so i plan outing where to go with fren kids so we r not so boring on weekend, and now he too free, and if he didnt say in advance, we will be out instead and he will be lonely there at home. Sometimes talking to them doesnt help much unless they change their thinking. So instead of getting sad why he not free, i plan my own activities for kids and me.
Hi mummy whr do u stay am looking for play dates too 😁
Maybe instead of time spending time with all the kids, how about asking him to go out on a date with just 1 child? He can take the child out for a lunch and movie date and bond with them instead. Sometimes men feel overwhelmed with too many kids around and it's so stressful and not at all relaxing. He probably sees the public holiday as his downtime to recuperate before going back to work. Hope this advice helps :)
I suggested that b4 but he always have some excuses not to .. I'm tired of asking :'( He is not only not free on public holidays .. weekends too .. every weekends and every public holidays.. where then is there time for us ??
mummy look on the bright side! focus on your kids. If he isn't willing to bring the kids out, bring them out yourself. i know it's tiring to bring three. But your kids will appreciate your effort for it (: don't dwell on the fact that your husband isn't making an effort. Once yours kids are enjoying and happy being with you only, he will start to feel sad and guilty
i feel like a single moms too and i cant tolerate my ex so i divorce.. some mens just dont know how to change.. bo bian..
I would make an appointment with my friends, then leave the kids with my husband so he's forced to spend time with them and take care of them. I'll make him a checklist of things to do for the kids so he's not too lost while I'm away. Mummy, you have a life, too.
I know him too well.. if I do that, he will sure flare up .. never in our 10 years of marriage has he spend time alone with our 3 kids or alone with any one of them .. everything he relied on me .. :(
Plan a play date, chill out at nearby playground, then you can find other mummy with kids near you. Don't be sad, coz after a while if your hubby finds out you're not asking him for help, he will feel left out. Stay strong n happy, you are a wonderful mum
you need to have a life too. u can bring the kids and do what you guys love to do. some day he will realize how important you guys to him. don't ever lose the faith. right now, be nice to yourself and kids, that's most important. fighting!!! 💪
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