I'm so done with my in-laws. who in the right mind will come in the room when baby is crying while we're changing baby's clothes and diaper, and say in Chinese 'your dad molesting you huh? your dad rape you huh?' WHO IN THE WORLD SAYS THAT?! I've always tell her the same thing over and over again, it's coming to my limit. She always like to pick the timing where I'm making my baby sleep, to knock the door and come in talk loudly, I've always speak to her nicely, say when baby is asleep, don't come in. but she keeps on doing it again and again and again and again. And, few weeks back, my sil lost her gold charm, and she claims that is missing at home. From than onwards, they started locking their room door, and I'm the only one at home while everybody does to work in the morning. my sil is the last to leave the house. I'm very very very hurt by this. Are they indirectly implying that I'm the one who steal the gold charm? it's a small gold charm. why would I risk my marriage for a small gold charm? it probably cost $100+ if I were to steal and sell it. why would I risk my marriage for $100+? I've been together with my husband for 6 years. why would I choose now to steal? Now that I'm married to him? I keep telling myself that it's okay, ignore them. but every time I hear them unlocking their room door, I feel angry and sad. I'm being indirectly pointed as a theft. who would like that?! I broke down few days back when I talk to hubby, I told him that I know I have told him this matter before, but I can no longer tolerate it.. it's too much for me.. am I over reacting? my sils never call me 大嫂, they call me by name. and there were once we quarreled because they said I was rude to their parents by not addressing them every single time and they called me a mute. I blew up. hais... but I'm really lucky hubby side with me, if not I would've gotten depression by now...........

23 Replies

So sorry to hear about your predicament. Facing them everyday will not help relationships too. It's a blessing your hubby takes your side. Has your hubby spoken to his parents and his sibling? I had clashes with my in laws too and believe me they aren't an easy to get along with unless you know how to bootlick them and ensure enough riches to make them feel proud. Their tongue isn't kind too. Even though my hubby sides me, both are us are victims to their lashings and our relationship was strained. We moved out in the end for the peace. I no doubt agree that the relationship between the in laws and me has gone beyond forgiving and understanding. I will at all cost avoid them as I don't need judgement or verbal assault each time we see each other. Not that I am encouraging you to shift out, do consider your marriage health, your family's and your sanity. Hugs and kisses.

I am sorry you went through so much. It must really be tough on you. I am so angry at the thoughtless comments they make. Are they trying to make your baby grow up hating the father and fear of a father's touch? I went through rough times living with my in laws too. I would go out daily with baby once confiment was over till all the malls are closed or when hubby ends work so I need not be at home alone. Even if I did, it was already night and everyone wants to rest. My case is people taking our things and no one in the house admits. Only when we found it and point it out, they start giving excuses. Anyway I applied for a rental flat and got my keys when LO was 7mo. It was better even though they keep trying to interfere and pop up at our place. It beats living under one roof. If you could explore the option of moving out, would be great.

how did you get a rental place? i am not working, not sure if I can afford it.. I wish to move out too. sometimes I do that too. I will go out until it's very late. I feel that my SIL are being very biased towards me. She does not buy anything for my Daughter. She nicknamed my daughter too. Sometimes I feel so helpless. I don't wish hubby to be sandwiched in the middle, so I go out as soon as I wake up, and only comes homd when people is about to sleep.

Glad and great hubby who being supportive than a mummy's boy. certain things it is open for us to learn to accept. I was once the same and would say I am still one who voiced out when I am not happy about it. There is nothing wrong. we r not brought up of the same background and there is no standard set. No one to judge your character. I don't address my SIL or BIL as they wanted (Sister or Brother) but I call by their names. It is the same when they die die wants my Children to address cousins by XX-jiejie/korkor, I said name is enough. When they insisted, I would tell them to bring out the family chart then, and to follow the *tradition*. There is no need to be angry with hubby family, relationship don't grow by days. Take it slowly.

You must be so hurt by your in law's actions. Have you considered moving out soon? Sometimes we DIL can be easy to get along but unfortunately conflicts just happens because there is bound to have someone who likes to step on people's toes. Like my BIL, he also never greet me like how your SILs does. I closed one eye on this since I dont talk often with him but lately his attitude had been so ridiculous that not only he likes to ask for help, he has crossed my boundaries as well. So much that I dont even feel like talking or looking at him. And we are not even staying together.

The problem is I don't even live with PILs and BIL. Is ever since he request help to let MIL stay in with us for a short while as they having reno, end up after helping we become the bad guys, BIL dont greet me (dont know whats the problem with him) right after I let MIL stay in. Anyway long story also. Yes your SILs should just move with their ILs then they will know how it feels like.

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Oh dear .. I know how pain it’s ..?staying with mills means such quarrels sure happens .. it’s kind of ego problem , we can’t change them .. they act in different way if hubby presence n absence .. talk to ur partner personally ask to talk himto his parents , better to discuss than hiding n feeling alone .. it makes u more stressful. Coz motherhood is always stressful n such disappointments means it makes a lot .. u must think abt ur health 1st coz u hv to take care of ur lil 1.. take care dear , don’t worry the time repairs every matter ..

Move out of the house with your hubby and kids??? I believe you need space from in laws and even own parents to raise your own kids and set your own rules! I never allow my PIL to get involved with my kids matters. My Mom can give her suggestions but at the end of the day, I have the last say and she knows clearly I have boundaries when it comes to my own kids.

Oh dear! Big hugs, im so sorry that you have to go through this. If it was me, ill definetly move out if given a choice or look for an alternative if that is even possible. This is to not strain the relationship further. Which is the last thing you need. For the sake of your sanity and your marriage especially your kids. Do consider wisely.

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big hugs! Have you all thought of moving out? I agree it gets difficult living with inlaws. But since it's getting to a point of being ridiculous, have you though of moving out? aside of the gold issue, i can't stand it when they say why your father molesting you? which mother would be in the right mind to say their own son?

i agree. Same here. my house is still to come in 1-2 years. can't wait to move out fast

Your in laws sound like they are from hell. I am sorry that you have to go through that. Huge hugs your way!!! Any way that you can leave baby in day care and go out and start working. I think being out of the house will give you some sanity. And you might be able to save enough to buy your own place too

yes. I agree. being out of here is better. cannot wait to move out.

hmmm did you and your in-laws have bad blood? It sound like there were past misunderstanding and snowball till this situation. You said you were married with your husband for 6 years, how long have you guys been dating? Did they approve of the relationship?

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