I don’t know how to suggest, just speaking my mind, firstly you really need to talk to your doctor and get help for depression. You can alternatively change to KKH if you wish to but don’t need to discuss with hubby if so stressful. Then need to find a friend, guy or girl friend both great, go food hunt and be happy. Baby kicks you because he or she is trying to tell you he/she loves you and is here for you. The sleep deprivation will get worse when baby is born, you need a happy place to do confinement which I believe it’s not your home. And during confinement, because you have no help or support, you might have to wash all the stuff yourself, please don’t or wear gloves if you have to, cos touching cold water will get rheumatism aches and make our lives worse. Baby is your closest family member, he/she needs you and you need he/she, you and baby are one, your heartbeat as one. Please take care of yourself and baby. You are way stronger than you think you are. Help is good, but if no help available, find shortcuts, find a friend. You are strong and you can overcome, you won’t need anyone, baby is always on your side. If you hate your job, start looking for other jobs, easier part-time jobs etc,