12 Replies
It's really depend, as i don't know your husband character. My husband don't want kid, and we have girl. (His friends play apart too, as his friend just start a family and share with him it's good to have a kid too.) He don't want 2nd kid, and we have a boy. (Again his friend play apart too, cause he have 2nd kid too. His friend show positive attitude of having 2 kids which result he is not so negative.) Friends around him play a part too. I didn't ask his friend to say anything for him too. But you will tend to be having less help from him unless he change his thinking. As my husband is just enjoying the fatherhood without helping much. This way also good, less quarrels too.
Having more children is a big commitment for both parties. Make sure that all aspects are being considered (financial, physical, mental, psychological abilities). Having children can bring a lot of stress in the marriage so make sure you hear out his reasons for not wanting another one as well. If you feel that you have addressed his own issues, maybe you can try to convince him by telling him it will be beneficial to your child in the long run to have a sibling as a playmate, friend, and support system and that a lot of values (sharing, caring for one another, being considerate, etc...) can be learned and practised at home because of it. Good luck!
What is the reason? I was preggy recently, initially we didn't want it. We both agreed it was too soon. Since my son would be barely 2 when i deliver, and i dont think i can handle newborn + terrible twos. And i'm looking forward to head back to work. Financially its going to be very taxing as well. I discovered i was preggy at 6weeks. When i was 2 months + preggy, I almost had a change of mind though, my hub also said he's open to it. But unfortunately i had a miscarriage. I guess just take sometime and really discuss the reasons. And when you're both ready, #2 will come!
There should be a reason why your husband do not want more children. Try to ask him what about in future, if he want another children. My husband actually wanted only 1 as he find stressful in child upbringing, but I managed to convince him my daugther needs a playmate. Eventually, he finds it is wonderful to see them to play together and now we have 3 kids already.
Having a child is the decision of both parties. Sit down and talk to your husband to find out his reason for not wanting a second child. From there, you can see if the reason is something which can be overcome. For example, if it is due to finances, an adjustment to your budget might be able to allow for another child.
Communication is important between couple thus need to check with your hubby why he didn't want to have another child? If all the reasons can have solution to it maybe your hubby will be glad to have another one with ease! Having another might bring him stress and unhappiness if he is not willing of it
Poke holes in the condom. Haha... Then he got no choice when the baby comes. Just a joke. On a side note, observe the "only child syndrome" in your LO and see if that can convince him for number 2. I used this to convince my Wife to have number 2 though. :)
You need to sit down with him and open talk with him why doesnt he want another child. There must be a reason why. Having a child is both parties not just one. Perhaps some things are bothering him like Finances, Time, Care, stress and etc.
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I agree with the comments above. There must be a reason why he has said so. Could it be that he's worried about finances? Or he's worried about divided attention? Talk it out, I'm sure you guys can work it out.
Chiran Doshi