Hi there,
I can’t say I understand how you feel, because no one can tell the feeling your feeling now.
But my advice to you is “if the relationship hurts you and your children…please leave it”.
Because you never know what kind of STD he will bring back one day. Therefore please be aware and be careful.
Before you take any steps ahead, at least be financially prepared (No.1).For your children and yourself.
Seek help from your family member (No.2). No matter how uncomfortable for you, please always remember your family will always be your backbone. DO NOT FORGET.
(No.3) NEVER HURT YOURSELF. You been a good wife and a mother. There is nothing you can do to change a person, life is real, not a fantasy. Please always love yourself first, emotionally or physically. Protect yourself, especially your pregnant now.
(No.4) Find God. Not sure about which religion or even if your a free thinker. Please seek God, pray and talk to your God, even when things is down to the drain, all seems meaningless, nothing good is happening. Seek God, talk your heart out to Him. Because one day what you encounter will come to past. Be strong now, believe in yourself and Him.
Last but not least, prepare to be stronger than ever. A life is coming from you. A second child. Surely the baby will be loved. Is not easy, please seek help. As much help from your family. Don’t deal with this alone. There is nothing to be ashamed of , you did nothing wrong but preserving your own family your relationship with your husband. Please don’t put it so hard on yourself,again we can’t change someone who doesn’t want to listen or help themselves.
If you need help , call 1-767. They are professional that can listen and help you.
Be strong mummy, take care. Touch your bundle of joy in you and with you(your toddler). Your marriage never come to waste, as you have 2wonderful child.