Hugs mama, that sounds really tiring 😔
Honestly, a lot of guys grow up very used to listening to their family, especially their mum, so sometimes they don’t even realise how it comes across to us.
But it doesn’t mean your feelings are less important. You’re his partner, not second place.
Since he’s short-tempered, maybe try bringing it up when things are calm, not during an argument. And instead of saying it’s about his mum, frame it around how you feel, like 'I feel unheard' or 'I wish we could make decisions together first.'
For the living together part, I think that one really needs a proper conversation early. It’s not a small thing, and your comfort and privacy matter too.
You don’t have to fight his family, but you do need him to see you as his main team now. That part is important.
You’re not wrong to feel this way ❤️