EDITED: How careless I was during the start of my pregnancy
Hello. I just want to share how careless and irresponsible I was before I discovered that I am pregnant. And how the baby survived in my womb despite some bad decisions I had. First, I started this year filled with hope and aspirations as I resigned from my previous job last Dec. 31. In January, I decided to have a new look and spent about 8 hours in the hair salon to have my hair rebonded and dyed. In February, I joined a 2-day pilgrimage walk that covers about 20 kilometers. I walked for about 9 hours straight to hilly mountains during the first day. It was an amazing experience (if you didn't know that you are already carrying a baby fetus inside). Last March, I noticed that I have gained weight. I thought it was only because I ate too much and sleep all day because I still don't have work yet. I am also constipated so I took laxatives like Dulcolax and Biofit tea. Then, it was April, I already have a job that time. Because I was too concerned with my weight, I walked for about 30 minutes or maybe 5 kilometers every day from work and continued taking laxatives. You are probably thinking what about experiencing morning sickness, cravings and period? Actually, I missed my menstruation since Dec. and I only thought maybe because I am having irregular period. I also haven't experienced nausea, vomiting and I'm not sure with cravings because I eat a lot. Still in April, I decided to go to the doctor because my pelvis was really painful and I can feel slight pitik-pitik down there. I don't want to think that I am pregnant . I still have many things I want to accomplish in life. My boyfriend, who is a seafarer, was the one who wanted to start a family with me. I love him and I also wanted to. He's ready while I am not. Everytime when we make love, as much as possible we use condom. Sometimes, he didnt and opted to have withdrawal. And that I should trust him. Anyway, during the checkup with the OB. The doctor tried the doppler device and we heard a hearbeat sound. I was too shocked to react that time. I know this is a good news for my boyfriend but not so much to my family. As expected, my boyfriend, who is miles away from me, was very happy with the news. That was April and I was already 5 months pregnant. A lot of things have happened after I discovered I am carrying a baby inside. When everyone finally accepted the situation, we decided to tie a knot with my boyfriend last June. After our marriage, my now husband confessed to me that he intentionally impregnate me. He admitted that he planned it all along so he can have me in the end and also because of some stories that most seafarers have difficulties in getting a child because of the hot and humid temperature in their work environment. I was surprised with his honesty and I cannot get mad at him. I love him afterall and if I will have my own family, I want it with him. Now, I am on my 35-week pregnancy. I considered it as a miracle that my baby was able to survive despite all the poor decisions I've had during my first trimester. To mommies or soon to be moms out there who discovered their pregnancy a bit late, you still have time to correct your mistakes and do good for your unborn babies well-being. Honestly, I still feel guilty sometimes and regret what I did, but know that God is really good. I realized that if you cannot take care His blessing, then He will do it for you. I am still amazed up to now because the OB said the baby is healthy inside. I might have missed the precious moments during the first five months, but I am now feeling and enjoying my remaining weeks before I get to see my little one. ? I can't wait to see you our baby girl. ❤ Hope you'll forgive mommy.
