15 Replies

Hang in there, mummy!! The initial stages will not be easy. Get some help! Hire a nanny or if your family members are available, reach out to them. Yes, your baby needs you for comfort and food, but you must also take care of yourself. Rest must be rather elusive right now given your baby’s frequent waking. But all these will pass once your baby get used to different routines and schedule. Sure, there will be grow spurts and teething and sleep regression (the list never ends) and what not, but all those will pass too! If you need to take some time out for yourself, speak to your hubby and/or family members. You are only human and you deserve a break. While you will want to put your baby first, you also need to remember that only if you are well, you would have the energy to attend to your baby adequately. I am not suggesting anything here but I still want to highlight some signs of postpartum depression, just for your information: The most common postpartum depression symptoms are: Social withdrawal, low energy, decreased sex drive, exhaustion and an overwhelming sense of despair. There are also some less common symptoms, which most are unaware of. - frequent headaches, stomach upsets and even panic attacks. - intrusive, disturbing thoughts. Usually, these thoughts will often revolve around the baby and scenarios that involve accidents, injuries and even the death of the little one and will leave you in a frightened and anxious state - eating much more than usual, and even after you are full - frequently having brain fog. It could start by having difficulty in remembering things, inability to multitask, inability to finish even a simple task, and just going through the day as if in a daze. - appears disconnected from life and no longer cared about your appearance, the family or the baby - often angry or irritated. At the tiniest provocation, will yell at everyone, throw things, or stomp feet in frustration. - appears to have bonding issues with the baby, such as feeling distant, uninterested and sometimes even resentful of the baby. You can refer to these two articles for more signs to watch out for: [This article described the symptoms in easy-to-relate way] http://www.postpartumprogress.com/the-symptoms-of-postpartum-depression-anxiety-in-plain-mama-english [And this article highlighted eight symptoms that are not often mentioned] http://sg.theasianparent.com/8-unexpected-symptoms-of-postpartum-depression/ Just listing these out so that you have some awareness of this condition. With the hormonal changes and overwhelming new role as a mummy, it is perfectly normal to experience the occasional blue and getting frustrated. Knowing the signs of postpartum depression is just so one could catch herself and seek professional help if it is required. Stay strong mummy!! Take good care of yourself!!

Hi Mummy! hang on!!! im a first time mum myself. i had exactly that same thing happening - hourly feeding and all crying - when my baby was 1week old. it turns out that i wasnt feeding her enough. then this reoccur AGAIN at 3rd/4th week! Crazy hourly , forever crying, feed and still cries., other mummies then advise me it could be growth spurt. that was like hell for me. wondering what did i do wrong... she cried until face red and so pitiful. mummy, do you have anyone else to share the caretaking duties with you? even if for a short while, 15min, 30min, if possible, do ask for help to get short rest to recharge yourself. at night, i do side latching to save my sanity and no need to keep walking to and fro to get baby and feed her. hubby and i also lack experience since first time parents. i dont have confinement lady to help & thankful i have my mum to help. Mummy, your baby NEEDS you. this journey is TOUGH but you CAN MAKE IT!!! this is on the job learning, there's no right or wrong. Have faith in yourself! We have endure the 9~10months pregnancy stage and finally delivery. Now the angel is in your hands!!! Please believe in yourself as a mummy!

Hi there mama, Being a new mom can sometimes be so overwhelming, especially when your on you own most of the time. What i did with my eldest when he was just a new born when he cries and I’ve tried everything change diaper , feed him, etch but nothing seems to work, Then i remember A friend of mine told me sometimes baby are more comfortable with some sounds than having a quiet surroundings when they sleep… and what i found out was my baby can sleep better when a electric fan is on… Its the sounds the soothes him . Its funny because im like that too now … i cant sleep without the fan on regardless if its winter or summer ( we have air conditioning during summer) but its the sounds of electric fan that make us sleep better at least for my eldest child And me :) Maybe it can help you too, It doesn’t has to be electric fan maybe some other soothing sounds you can search up on you tube, maybe sounds of rain, etch. Goodluck and take it easy . :)

Hey momma - I am a new mummy too and I feel kinda down sometimes too. For example, baby is sick (she was down with the sniffles last night) and so we took her to the PD this morning. All is good with her now, but it was a brutal morning for me as I had to wake up at 1,4 and 6.30 to pump (I am an oversupply mum) and had a migraine (still do as I am typing it right now). And I felt super inadequate as I could hardly care for her and give her the sayang she needed as I needed to take care of myself first. Being a mother is not easy - it takes oodles of sacrifice and patience and inner strength. When the tough times come, just keep repeating to yourself, even this will pass. Remember, we have so much of ability and inner strength in us. We can do whatever we want as long as we keep a calm mind and focus on the tasks on hand. I wish you all the best and lots of strength. Believe in your ability as a momma. ;)

From your post I gather you are a new mom. Do you have any family members or friends who can help you out? Even if it is just for a few hours? All they need to do is watch over baby and give expressed BM (if you have any) or just give formula for a feed or two while you catch up on sleep. Wash the bottles, fold laundry if baby is sleeping. If you do not have a confinement nanny, please think of getting one. If you have financial issues, try asking family for help. Or tell the nanny that you'll pay her in instalments. Some of them are open to this. Eat chocolate. If you are comfortable, please let us know where you live. Some of us may be able to help you out. Hang in there ok? This phase will pass. It will seem that there is no light at the end of the tunnel. But there is. Some tunnels are just longer. Or so it seems.....

Jia you mummy!!! As the saying (overused yet true) goes: when the going gets tough, the tough gets going! Being a mother is one of the greatest and toughest job. Share some of your burdens with your hubby. Though I know you are worried that it will stress him out, but it is still very very important to have someone to talk to. I’m sure he has some concerns as well (especially since he has to travel for work, probably feeling some daddy/hubby guilt as well!) and it would be a good time to have a heart-to-heart and comfort each other. If not, chat with some friends as well to at least give your mind a break from your mummy duties. Keep your spirits up! We are all here for you as well. Fighting!

Dear Mummy, Please stay POSITIVE and STRONG!!! You are not alone! You have your beautiful princess looking helplessly at you. When you had her, I believed that you showered her with love. Now that she is born by her GREAT mummy, both of you are looking forward to another chapter of your lives. Waking up every hour is a blessing. Be positive and tell yourself that she is indicating to you that "Mummy, I'm hungry. I would like to have more bonding with you!" Nurse her as much as she wants so as to create a special bond between the both of you. These special moments will decrease as they go older. Please cherish them. Jia You!!!

Hi, I was there before too. It is really hard initially and I kept crying too. Especially when mine had jaundice, i could not have proper confinement food cos of the fear of increasing his jaundice. People's comments plus guilt plus lack of sleep will get to you. You need to get support from friends and family, take some time out for yourself. Go for a swim. Get a masseuse to come to the house. Babies cry for so many reasons. Sometimes they just need comfort, most of the time they are hungry because their stomachs are still small. It could also be colic. It will get better.

Thank you mummies for your replies! I am alone in this....husband travels alot for work and he's also very stressed up at work so I don't wanna add on to his stress. I don't really have people to help me. My mil can't help cos she's working and my mum's health is not that good so she can't come over and help all the time. I'm pretty much on my own. We can't really afford a confinement nanny too. They are so ex! Sigh. Im super sleep deprived and it's really hard. But I am heartened to read the replies here and know that I am not alone.

Hi mummy. Stay strong and positive. This phase WILL BE OVER SOON. Yes it is very very tough initially. But it will be over soon. Baby needs your love and cuddles all the time. So embrace it! If you are breastfeeding, please don't worry about supply. FM is always there as a back up. Don't stress over breastfeeding. Get your family member to help you a little too. Jiayou!!