I will be having my termination as scheduled very soon. Mixed feelings about keeping the child because I don't know if I could handle both kids with huge age gap and their needs are very different. Maybe I wasn't a mummy calibre in the first place since so many mummies can do it without help with more than 1 and yet I am struggling already, wondering if I will turned into a depressed mummy if I continue the pregnancy.

If you have decided on the termination, i would say you have to look on the bright side. I also don't wish for you to slip into a depression after the procedure. No one is born to be a mummy, everyone learns along the way. I am a mother of two. I do breakdown while doing the care of the kids. I always questioned myself. But things will be possible if you bite on. If your first child is old enough, get them to be active in helping you. It may be difficult, but will get better along the way. Sometimes, don't overthink, just let things go the simple way.