Drawing boundaries - In laws

Hi! I have a small issue that I need some advice on. So I have wonderful in laws to begin with, they are nice people and don't carry any I'll intentions. However, sometimes they can be rather naggy and overzealous about our lives. They are always missing us and wanting to meet up for dinner with us. Firstly, my hub and I work, so that puts us out of energy 6 days out of the week. I also drive 20km to work and 20km back from work 6 days a week being pregnant. They also want us to go to their house to eat once a week, their house being 20mins away from ours too. We only have Sundays to rest. My in laws are semi-retired so they're always asking when is the next meet up, asking us what we want to eat and buying fruits to pass to us. In a way, I feel exhausted with them always pressuring us to meet and finding reasons to meet up when our schedules are so tight. Secondly, due to pregnancy hormones I get easily agitated. Sometimes they might make comments that doesn't sit well with me and nag about things during dinner when I just want to faster eat and go home. E.g. "So early go home for what", "when are you coming again". I appreciate that they pass us household items and fruits, but the thing is when I reject some of it, they insist. They also pressure me to finish the food that they prepare (too many dishes for 4 people) even though I repeat many times that I'm full, so every time I go home being overly-full and become very uncomfortable. So the once happy-go-lucky me has become short-tempered and I find myself avoiding them/wanting to avoid them. This is also because I'm afraid I'll lose my temper when I'm with them. My baby is arriving in about 3 months and I'm already dreading their input. Somehow I feel like avoiding them already and after giving birth I heard that your emotions and hormones will be more overwhelming than during pregnancy. I don't want to lose my temper in front of them. My hub and I figured that I should set boundaries and let them know when they should come to our house to help out, if we need their help. As I will be home for at least 3 months and I will have a maid and a confinement nanny. My mother in law even asked me where she could sleep without us mentioning about that. We already have a maid and confinement nanny, we don't have any more space for them, so I turned that down. She always repeated that she don't trust the maid to take care of the baby which I agree, but that's what many couples have arranged and they did fine. Deep inside me, I know it's wrong to feel this way but I'm also afraid they will "snatch" my baby away from me. I want this precious 3 months after birth to be an inteimate time of just me, my hub and my baby. I want to set days that they can come to visit and times that they should let me rest and go home but I have no idea what kind and how much help I would need from them. Any advice from mummies that experience similar scenarios and how to manage this issue? Thanks in advance!

Vô danh

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I'm almost 4 months pp now. Right after delivery they bombarded my house and were causing a ruckus that I close myself and baby in the room in the verge of tears. Since I felt raw and vulnerable, they really caused me unrest and anxiety. My father in law even walk in on me trying to bf. Besides, baby needs to rest so I didn't appreciate them making so much noise. After that, they found many ridiculous reasons to come 2-3 times a week. It doesn't help that they make irritating comments about how I look or over small things like how I ran out of eggs etc. Now that I'm months pp, I feel a sense of anger and anxiety towards even the idea of them. I somehow felt scarred and hurt by their actions that I fear the experience of the next child. We are in total good terms but just that there's this thing in my heart that I can't let go. until now they have backed off a little but still make remarks like how we don't show them baby enough etc. Also, I want to add that they force me to let them fetch me to gynae appt when I was preggers. it was worst at the start when I just got married, my mil would call me few times a day everyday while I was working. I told my hub once I couldn't tolerate anymore, when he told her off she continued, then when we were out eating, while my hub went to order the food, my fil told me I must answer my mil phone calls. WTF. Many many instances like this, it is endless. My point is, they are nice, TOO nice, they wanna squeeze into our lives. And now I feel so much anxiety when Sunday is coming around and we have to meet them or that they are coming to our house. if we go out eat, they will auto invite themselves to our house. and if they come to our house, they will refuse to leave even after several hours.

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