Hi dear... pregnancy is big news, and the responsibility is great, hence you’re feeling all these things and having all these thoughts. From what I’m reading, you already love and care for this baby very much! I know nothing we say or do can reverse all the things have already taken place, but you can do everything possible to protect your baby from here on. Although you’ve contemplated going for an abortion, I would strongly urge you not to rush through this, especially out of fear. Take it one step at a time. Go see a doctor and confirm your pregnancy. Go for your scans. Eat and rest well. The things that you need to stop doing, I’m sure you’ll stop immediately. There are things that are out of our control, but many more that are within our control, so focus on them first:) Hold onto the hope of feeling some kicks in about 4 months and holding your beautiful baby in 8-9 months ❤️ Just said a little prayer for you. Big hug :)