9 Replies

Maybe next time try to say like, can you help me open the chair or make the milk instead? Like try to tactfully let him know you will carry your baby. he can help by doing the chores. or when he try to carry your baby you just tactfully avoid? But maybe tell your hubby again in a more serious note but not quarrel mode. that you are uncomfortable that your FIL carry your baby girl into the room alone and close the door. Must tell your hubby, you mean no harm to your FIL but can he respect that you feel uncomfortable that your FIL bring your baby girl alone away from you. Let your hubby know that if he doesnt figure a way to convey this msg to your FIL, next time you will tell your FIL in the face and if there's any confrontation or bad blood, its because your hubby didnt do his job well as a husband and father while you're following your maternal instincts. But be tactful be tactful! cause you dw your hubby to think that you accusing his dad of something else. take care ay!

Actually I think your fil is just trying to bond with baby. Given a choice of helping with chores or helping to carry baby, I guess helping to carry baby would be the preferred choice. Good that he even bother to offer help, otherwise you would have to put baby down anyway. No matter how long others take care of baby, baby will still stick to mum. So i think it is just a remark. No need to be too affected. My pil take care of baby while I am working. Even so they still come over sometimes on weekend to play with baby. While I feel that that's my time with baby and abit annoyed that they eat into my bonding time with baby, I do feel happy that they truly love n care for baby. Anyway baby is not affected and still stick to me so no harm letting grandparents play with baby more often

Think in a positive side, sometime my MIL will also joke around saying “mummy number 1 la etc”. But I know her tone and choice of words are purely just joking around. It is in a good way that elders love and willing to entertain / take care of your kid. I do heard some of my friends whose MIL cant be bother to care more about their grandchild but indulge themselves in their own entertainment e.g. Playing Mahjong. With regards to him bringing your kid to room and play behind closed door, you can voice out your concern to him.

Omg I feel you ! Mine are like similar as such or if not is they will keep say they love the baby so much. But then at the same time, they even threaten to leave baby alone at home coz MIL wans to go work & I have yet to rch their hse ( went to apply some stuff at the court ) . At the same time, I wanted work and was supposed to go interview, they said ok. Then 1 day before my interview day, they purposely dw to tc of the baby . In the end , i cant even work . contradicting inlaws! hais

honestly, think on the positive side. if ur in laws don't love ur child they won't even entertain ur child in the first place. they probably miss the times when they were young taking care of ur husband. maybe u can drop hint in a nice way if u feel offended but honestly i just feel there is nothing wrong. they just love and wanna play with their grandchild.

Super Mum

I'm sorry but this feels somewhat wrong and inappropriate... Why would your FIL be jealous with you for taking care of your own child 😅. I don't know the exact situation but I'd feel uncomfortable too. I think you need to talk to your husband, ask him to set clear boundaries with the in laws. And get out as soon as you can

same as my MIL. i dont know why would they be jealous! whenever my 14mo fuss looking for me, she would say things like why is she so whiny again. or when i carry MY baby, she would make noises with my baby's toys to attract her attention?? so ridiculous

Ignore him, you can't control your FIL, just control what you can control and manage - ourselves. If argue = Spoilt relations. No point. Endure mummy!

It is better not to give your baby to him for playing in closed rooms.

why is that so?

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