Firstly, hugs to you ❤️❤️❤️ I was like you too last year. I went thru pregnancy alone while my husband cheated on me and spent all his money feeding someone else. Honestly I was disappointed. Up till today there’s not a day that goes by that I’m able to forgive him. All my cravings all the baby items I’ve paid for them myself. I kept receipts because if divorce happens, I can claim. Baby is 18 months old now and we’ve just lived life as it is since he refuses to let go of me for whatever reason he has. I choose to not be bothered. I earn my money I can afford myself I can afford my child. At the end of the day, he loses a child that could give him all the love that he probably is looking for from another girl. Truly great men are hard to come by. I find talking to my mom about it lessens the burden. In a way, I’m lucky my mom is supportive of every step I make. My husband wasn’t there my entire pregnancy. He wasn’t there when baby was born, during post partum and till today. I’m living life like a single mother except living with a husband who’s like a housemate. It’s like waiting for my death to happen living everyday but my baby keeps me sane so I’m sure you can find some good in it! Don’t depend on husbands too much! It’ll just make us crazy.
Its normal... i also feel like that. but i realised we are very sensative and like emotional this period. and to guys they feel they have done alot already ... and honestly they are clueless abt alot of things esp if you dont stay together. my husbnd and i also.. so he doesnt see my sleepless nights and my body aches etc. sometimes i feel like i can do this alone- whats the point of a husband. i believe also cause they dont like register that their a father soon... for women we go thru the change etc. and the body automatically prepares u for it. the sudden sense of responsibility. For guys i feel they dont register it until very much later. or even when the baby is out. its very normal feeling- so i tell him if u dont hv initiative.. then u just pay money or i give him a list of items to buy or prepare. delegate. and i hire nanny etc to help or spend money to go for class. like kena forced to learn instead of me nagging at him or expecting him to know. just dont expect too much or compare to those tik tok video of all the very sweet or how guys should behave when wife preg. Learn to see the small things and appreciate. just know that all the emotions and hormones are also playing a part. just have a talk with him and tell him how u feel. and what he can do to make u feel better.
Hmmm i think because you guys live separately is reason of the poor communication. I totally understand how you feel. Sometimes i also feel like that, why my husband not asking about the baby, why he always never take the initiative to learn about baby or how to take care of baby or what baby need etc. i also feel pregnancy is very lonely, i feel like im going thru everything alone while my husband is enjoying his life as per normal. But maybe you guys have to have a slow talk and talk it out. When pregnant, we are extra sensitive and our emotion is roller coaster. And we tend to follow our emotion. Honestly, some guys are blur blur one everything dont know what to do or dont bother to find out. But please dont do something when youre in anger, try to think of the baby. Try to talk it out and maybe also guide him on what he should do in preparation for baby. Maybe he’s really clueless of what he should do
Did you discuss with him about baby expenses and prenatal medical expenses? Is it all on you to take care of baby? If yes then u better off without him. But that’s coming from me, a single divorced mum. So don’t take my word for it. You should also think about your baby, how baby would grow up with or without father in picture. Pregnancy is a stressful period, especially when your hormones are all over the place. So take some time to cool off then revisit the issue and talk to him again.
Why you sacrifice so much for him? I am always on the opinion that you should always take care of yourself more, make yourself happy first. Don't have much expectation of other people, it will only lead to disappointment. If no expectation, whatever they do for you, you will be happy. If divorce makes you happier, just think about yourself and do it. Dont sacrifice your own wellbeing for others. If not, then continue but live for yourself instead.
Anonymous