I don't really know how to start this. Perhaps if I know the answers then I wouldn't be thinking this way nor I would find comfort in sharing this publicly. Though I am still a coward and hide anonymously. My daughter is a more than a year old now, I am back at work. I've been so sad and down lately. And whenever I ask for a time out for myself (around an hour or so in times I don't have work) I will be immediately shot down stating that "I am a mother now, I should not be doing leisure. Take care of your child if you don't have work" when I ask if I could sleep longer, I couldn't because I have to get up and cook my whole family meals 3x a day from the food that I bought myself with my money. I provide for my family (I stay with them so that my mother could keep an eye on my daughter whenever I'm at work). My husband's work requires him to be far away from us. I love my daughter. And perhaps this is the only reason that I am alive today. But lately I have been thinking of ways on how I should kill myself. My body aches all the time. I have no friends to talk to because everybody is busy. I am so tired with no one to talk to this about. I just want to rest. I cry all the time but behind close doors. I want a hug. I don't know. Actually I don't know what to do.