I am so depressed.
I am a mom of a 2 years old toddler. I'm currently living with my live in partner and my daughter.
I feel so stressed lately because of the hardships and stress na nararamdaman ko everyday. I work at night and pinagsasabay ko sya sa pagaalaga sa baby since exclusive breastfed pa din yung anak ko. After work, I do the house chores. Clean the house, cooking, bathing my daughter and I go to bed around 1 or 2pm. While my LIP will sleep after his shift at 5am and wake up around lunch time. Palitan kami sa pagaalaga. But I don't have straight sleep since ginigising ako para magpadede sa anak ko. So I feel so pagod pa din. Kahit rest day sa work,my LIP sleeps all day and even at night while me taking care of our child. I felt so unfair and so stressed lately. I asked him initially if he could find a job that will support our family without me needing to work. But it took him more than 6 months to find a new job after losing his job (maganda sana). His salary on his new role is not even half sa kinikita nya from his previous company but I said mas okay na yun kesa wala. But now, I am super fed up. Wala po sya kusa sa gawaing bahay and mahilig sya sa "wait lang" hanggang sa di na nya nagagawa yung inutos ko. His task sa bahay is papalitan ako sa baby ng hapon para ako naman matulog but other than that wala na. Nadi disappoint na po ako ng sobra sa kanya. I've never seen him cook, clean etc ng di ko inutos. Bihira ko lang naman sya utusan kasi ako gumagawa if may freetime ako kahit nasa work ako. Nakakaramdam ako ng pagsisisi bakit sya. Bakit sya pa!
I often talk to him and said na tumulong naman sya but he would just say "oo" but wala naman talaga sya itutulong. Madalas ko na sya awayin pero wala pa din. Labas sa kabilang tenga.
I want a life na naka focus muna ako sa baby namin while lumalaki sya. Pero di nya mabigay kasi mas malaki pa ako kumita sa kanya. I don't need him honestly. I can hire a kasambahay pero nakakahinayang kasi kaya ko naman and ayaw din ng partner ko.
Pero nakakastress na po sya. Feeling ko sinasadya na nya.