I can understand your anxiety and if I’m in ur shoe, I will feel the same as you.
Maybe you can check with ur gynae what’s the cost difference elective csect and normal + emergency csect ?
Don’t feel guilty for opting csect. We all want the best for our child. For me, as Long as my child is born safely, I don’t care whether it’s natural or csect.
Of course natural is always my first choice. But if circumstance don’t permit, csect is ok too!
Don’t be too hard on urself mummy!