I’ve come to realise it’s sometimes dangerous to expect things from either person. Because accusations of not fulfilling the role come into play, or comparisons between the parents on who’s doing more. Things also need to be fluid, because unexpected things happen whenever kids are involved. For my husband and I, if I’m bathing the baby, he’ll go do the laundry and help drain the bathtub while i’m dressing baby up. If I need to eat, he’ll play with baby or try to put her to bed. If she wants me, I’ll take over and he’ll go do the dishes. It’s a partnership, tag team kind of thing.
I don't have much expectations as long as we did our best to fulfill the baby's needs. If I need my husband to do anything, I will just let him know. He also knows how to take the initiative of taking care of baby during the night and will only wake me up if he cannot handle as he knows I am tired.
As a dad, making sure the family has enough food supply all the time. Beside that, I tries to have a close bond with my boy as much as possible and as long as possible.
I would expect my husband to play a supporting role, be it, exclusive duties such as breastfeeding, or shared duties like showering/talking/playing with the child
A task list and divide and conquer.