I really feel you on this, and I want you to know that what you went through, losing your baby at 17 weeks and going through the cremation, is an incredibly painful thing that no one should have to face alone. The fact that you still made the effort to meet up when her Malaysian family came over shows so much strength, and it is not small at all. Please be gentle with yourself right now, your healing has to come first, and any loving family member should understand that. It might also help to let your husband know that you need him standing beside you through this grief, not making you feel like your feelings are too much.