Divorce after a baby

I'm sorry you're going thru this but it's v shallow of your hubs to end the rs because of not achieving the looks and his acceptable weight of you postpartum. losing weight postpartum takes a lot of time and must be diligent in the process as well. its get tougher when you've become a mother and having to care of the infant 24/7. not sure why you guys would get tgt in the first place just on the aesthetic or the body physiques of one another, it seems there there wasn't any true love to begin with? After so long being together, things or rather the criteria for him still doesn't change, then might as well ask him go date some supermodel la. anyway, as you said you guys were in ldr for 9 years, I honestly wouldn't rule out the possibility of him cheating on you since he cares so much of someone's looks and body weight. no point holding onto the marriage if everything is so materialistic. if he ever gets married to another woman in the future and she is unable to lose weight in time, is he gonna divorce her just like you? what a lame excuse and childish thinking. damn freaking shallow. even if you managed to lose weight but what if your infant grows up to be not in his ideal "weight" or "looks"? he is gonna abuse the kid? whoa I seriously think he needs to seek help from the psychiatrist. i hope you would talk to your parents or family about this and come to a conclusion. really see no point holding on tgt with him even when there is a kid, cos he ultimately sets a v bad example for the kid. hope you will get over it soon and take care. be strong!!!!!

Hey there, I’m not in the same position but I have three kids and we were in the same place 5 years back - just before the third came along. Thing is, I’m not so sure I’d be so forgiving if I were in your position. True, you went into it with your eyes wide open. But it takes two hands to clap. Perhaps the best thing to do now would be to look forward and decide how you want your child to be raised coz it looks like you’re more or less prepared to go at this alone. Many children have been raised by strong single parents and you would not be the first. Perhaps the split is for the better as seeing both of you argue every other day isn’t healthy for the little one as well. If you don’t mind me saying, I think you’re carrying a lot of guilt. I will not go as far as saying you’re not to blame but I think you know you need to forgive yourself before you can move on completely. Be at peace with yourself first - the rest will fall in place.

Hi guys. Thanks for the reply. To be fair to him, he never wanted a kid. He was 50-50 on this. We had a kid more coz i wanted. It may sound twisted but he ended up loving his child. And he comes from a broken family so the last thing he ever wanted is for his child to go thru the same. The thing is, he couldn’t hold this together anymore because its either the adults are happy leading separate lifes and child suffers a broken family or child is happy but parents are unhappy staying together for the sake of the child. Tbh, i know its shallow of him but he has been very upfront about it. Maybe it is just my fault for pushing this relationship thru from the start coz this body image issue had been all along a problem, just that it got worst after I delivered. There is really no reason for him to cheat coz all he needed to do was to let me know he fall out of love and fell for someone else, and this relationship ends.

It’s ridiculous enough to divorce because you couldn’t get back in shape. It’s not like a one person thing that you decided to have a baby. But based on my POV, there’s no point in salvaging. 10-20 years down the road when you start ageing, the same thing will happen again.