For mil, I let my husband tell her and we personally don’t kiss baby infront of her so we tell her “even we don’t kiss her, please don’t kiss her” (main reason is also because she smokes). If don’t want to comply then don’t come near baby then.
I only allowed visits when baby completed first vaccination and even so, 2-3 pax at once. I will gauge if baby is starting to feel uncomfortable then I will take baby back. But most of the time I will tell them to try and just play with baby while she’s lying down.
For me, when it comes to my baby, if I say no means no. No buts, no whys. Cannot follow then don’t see. You have your own ways with your baby, I have mine so respect it.