My wife and I split all financial responsibilities, so I may be butting in on a sensitive topic here. In any case, I'd say the best way to go about it is to approach the matter in a calm, coolheaded fashion...also you should be very conscientious of the timing of it all. You may rub your partner the wrong way if you approach them in an aggressive way at the worst possible time.
It's easy for me to discuss financial matters with my husband because we have a weekly meeting where we discuss this matter (with our budget spreadsheet). Our family budget is from the combination of our salaries. If we need to spend money for an upcoming expense, I ask for his input on how we can come up with the amount.
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We have a centralize Google sheet where all the expenses are listed. We also have list of our maintaining balances of our accounts. We log all the deposits and withdrawals to keep track of everything.