how do i get my kid to be obessessive about programming and building things without him/her losing empathy and human touch?

Erm how about curbing his or her computer usage? Have a cap on the number of hours he uses on computers a day and make sure he takes a break. He could go out to play sports or simply have one on one time with you or his siblings. Alternatively, you can enrol him in a coding class. That way, he gets to interact with other people his age who have the same interests in coding like him :)