8 Replies
Not sure how you would feel about gently hitting her hands and giving timeouts. What my friend did to help educate her son on such inappropriate behaviour is that she would first speak to him firmly and sternly the first time he did it and would inform him that if he repeats it, she would give him timeout. When he repeats the behaviour, she would gently hit his hand and give him timeout for 1-2mins. After the timeout is over, she would again speak to him firmly and ask if he knows why she had to do that. She would also explain to him that the timeout was because of the inappropriate behaviour. If he was unable to pinpoint the behavious, she would get him to repeat after her, hoping that this would make sure he knows the main reason. Overtime, her son sort of learned though there will still be lapses from time to time. Different child may require different approach. So just sharing what worked for my friend.
A 2 yo child who is that angry, might be trying to attract your attention to her needs rather than her behaviour. Look beyond her behaviour. Look for the root cause for that anger, could it be you are not listening or talking to her? For my children, I will sternly take away their fav things eg their toys. Whenever they misbehave, I will tell them sternly that it is not acceptable and remove her toys. If they screamed, shout or scratched, hold them firmly and look into their eyes and hug them. Then in a gentle voice, tell them that it is a no no to hurt people and remove their toys. Set up a reward system by rewarding them with something good daily. Catch your child doing something good and affirm. Every child loves affirmation. When everything fails, just hold your child and hug. Tell your child that mummy is here.
From my personal experience, I know talking may not work when the child is too young to understand. And because the child can't communicate properly, she may react by hitting others. This is what I learn from a childcare centre where my son was bitten many times by another child. I saw from Return of Superman that some parents discipline their children by making them stand in a corner facing a wall. My method might draw criticisms - we ground our child when he's naughty (keep him in his bedroom) until he behaves. It works for us. Finally, I'm sure that parents will disapprove, but spare the rod, spoil the child. I read before from an article that some spanking is necessary, but it must not become abuse. I would think try this ONLY if you have exhausted all means.
Well! when my 1.5 years young daughter behaves like this I first tell her this is not right then I ask her will she do it again, she nods her head saying yes! then I lock her in high chair. She cries because she wants to come out then I ask her will you do it again she says Yes ! even while crying.. kids will behave like that as they cannot express themselves. But being a parent we cannot ignore it so will have to train them some way or the other. I know punishments are also not good but to discipline them without having to hit them I choose this root.
Ask her to imagine how she would feel if the tables were turned and she was at the receiving end of being scratched and beaten. She should treat others the way she wants to be treated. If all else fails, put her on a timeout or take away her privileges if she continues. For example, if she gets to watch TV at night, tell her she cannot if she continues her "violent" ways.
btw she is just a 2 yrs old toddler. she dont even understand
My friend just shared this article: http://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2016/03/no-spanking-no-time-out-no-problems/475440/?utm_source=atlfb The approach is very interesting. Do have a read. Perhaps you can give the tantrum game a try and see if it works for your little one. No harm trying I would say.
There is usually a reason why a child becomes physical. For example, they could be modelling what they have seen or have poor language skills and so cannot express themselves well enough. The underlying reason will have to be addressed.
its out of sudden. she can be playing on her own. the next moment come beating people
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