Negative responses when revealing gender

Honestly quite disappointed by some elders' immediate responses when we told them we are expecting a girl (first child). So my question is: Anyone faced similar comments? Pls share! **Most replies here are advocating 'just ignore', 'don't be bothered'. 😂 Haha, but my question is NOT 'Should I ignore them?' Of course I smiled and ignored them out of courtesy! But still bothered, and wondering if any mummy is in the same boat, to feel less alone and less frustrated in this pretty uncommon situation! And yes of cos hub & I will love our girl all the same.** Instead of congratulatory words, these were their responses. FIL went "Oh, 不要紧 la (never mind)." Uh, what is there even to mind in the very first place? He's never talked about the pregnancy since then, no small talk, no concern. Nothing. SIL went, "Oh, what did Father say about you having a girl?" the very moment we told her we are having a girl. I guess we all knew FIL would rather have a grandson for his first grandchild. Aunt went, "Oh...next one can have a boy." Wow. As if we didn't do a good job this time but oh we can try to excel next time. Huh(?!)

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my mil told me is blessed that we are able to conceive no matter what is the gender, and my hubby does tell me before he is not owing the family a grandson so his parents doesn't say much about gender even though my hubby is the only son. they are quite caring and respectful to me too. if they are really nasty abt gender i will definitely say it is actually the male sprem that decide the gender, not mine, so blame it on your son instead.😝

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4y trước

that's nice! my FIL ends up not giving me any tonic, or even words of concern, or small talk about the pregnancy. it's like me and my tummy are invisible to him haha.

Yeah, that ain’t a good feeling. What is really bothersome is the ‘pity’ statements, which girls don’t need. We made a conscious decision to exclude everyone from gender reveal. We felt it was unnecessary and the whole gender conversation is very hyped in Asia. We try to be as gender neutral as possible and focus on health of the baby.

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for me, i can sense my granny-in-law and my mil are hoping for a boy tho im still in my early pregnancy. whatever i do, they will associate with me carrying a boy. "oh your morning sickness so bad, must be a boy", "oh you like to eat this, must be a boy".... seriously? and i cant help to roll my eyes at them cause they are females themselves.

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I was overjoyed when I knew I was pregnant with a baby girl. I know how you feel as I've had ppl telling me before,"It's ok la, can try again for a boy 🙄 in my mind, I was like, "eh, I got what I want leh, why need to try again?" haha 3 years already, and every day I'm grateful that we have a sweet baby girl 😄

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4y trước

Ikr right. Dun tink too much abt it. Everyone need to rant! If not everyting in heart also no gd

I faced the same situation same you. I was initially sad with their response too. But after thinking, why should i be affected by them. The baby belong to me and hub, regardless of gender we will love them unconditionally. So don’t bother with their remarks, be happy and enjoy this journey!

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4y trước

Thank you! I don't have friends with the same situation so I feel somewhat better knowing that I'm not the only one. My friends have in-laws and parents who are genuinely happy that they were having girls. Mine on the other hand, sigh 😔 Were your folks totally uncaring towards your pregnancy because baby is not their ideal gender? Cos mine is.

Definitely faced the same situation before and only with very traditional in laws. I’d actually challenge them with what’s wrong with having a girl? They do have daughters too. And what’s really important is a healthy baby, regardless of gender. Being able to conceive is already a blessing!

4y trước

Thanks for sharing that you've been through the same nasty situation! Wished I had the chance to challenge them back when they said those remarks, but I was too shocked pluse gotta play the polite DIL/SIL/niece role, and just sucked it up. Only to feel bothered and unjust after that. And then the FIL has been completely ignoring our pregnancy since so...well. 🤷🏻‍♀️ - frustrated first-time mom behind this original post ♡

I get what u mean.. sometimes their remarks makes me think as if pregnancy is like buying something from a vending machine where u choose.. it doesn’t matter boy or gal as long as the baby is healthy. & do other mummies come across ppl asking’ do u want vaginal or c sect delivery?’

4y trước

YAAA OMG thanks for getting what I mean, and yes yes yes to the other super annoying qn "you going for vaginal or csect?"!!! I really roll eyes inside when they ask that too. Just what is the purpose of asking that, right?! Sometimes I think they just wanna ask so they can insert their expert unsolicited opinions after that 😒. - frustrated first-time mom behind this original post ♡

Ignore what people say! I am pretty lucky my in laws are not so much hoping for a boy (maybe they had 2 sons liao so enough of boys). I think if mummy and baby is healthy that is the most important thing already :) And also of course, you and your husband love the baby!

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You know what? What's important is that both you & husband loves your baby unconditionally. That's what really matters. Don't stoop low because of them. You matter. Your baby also matter. People like them can be toxic so ignore or avoid as much as you can.

I just got to know that I am pregnant with a baby girl. For my case its my hubby that didnt take the news well cos he wanted a boy. Till now he keeps telling me that he will not give up hope that the baby in my tummy is a boy till i give birth. 😢

4y trước

Im on the opp. My husband hopes to have another ger after this. He doesnt even want a boy... 🤦🏼‍♀️