I am assuming that your helper has been great with the family for you to bring up this concern. If I were in your shoes, I would approach my helper separately to explain things to her. Such as how not to take the "scoldings" of your mother-in-law to heart. I think since you are working and she will be there to face your mother-in-law for longer periods of time, it may be alright for her to follow your mother-in-law's instructions (so as not to put her in a spot). But of course, that is if you are alright with your mother-in-law's way of doing things. If your mother-in-law's way is erm.. unreasonable (for lack of a better word), perhaps can then get your husband to speak to her and tell her how you all want things to be done around the house. It is easier for the son to communicate these to his mother to minimize the risk of it becoming a source of conflict. She can be "tasked" to make sure that the helper is following what you and your husband had taught her (instead of your mother-in-law's way). Good help is difficult to find! Hope you find a way around this. :)
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