11 Replies
Before you go ahead to file the divorce, ask yourself will there still be any issue if your hubby break the contact with his family. Do you still love him? Are you mentally prepared to bring up your child single-handed? I was in the same situation as you not long ago, my mil ask my hubby to find another Wife after I gave birth to two girls. During Chinese New Year, my SIL make my girl waited for her for 3 hours for reunion dinner (without apologies) while my PILs stop us to give her food claiming that she will not be able to eat the dinner after snacking. Plus a long list to go. All these while my hubby just ask me to endure and give in as they are elderly. After 5 years, I bring up the topic to him that either we stop meeting his parents until they learn to respect me or we just have to divorce. He choose us so we sat down and list down all our issue and how we want to overcome it. It is hard but we find it the best solution for our kids. It's turn up my hubby is also having a lot of pressure from them and by stop seeing them to sort out our issue we start to get better. I suggest have a talk with him before you decide what is the best for your kid and family.
U would need to check if he's fighting with you for the child. If he's willing to let you have ur child than the separation would be easy. But if he contest, than you would evidence to show that you are more capable of looking after the child and maybe have more family support? Usually under women rights, Mother would definitely have higher priority than the Father but deep down you would still need to provided evidence that you able to look after the child by your own. Most importantly, try to talk to you Husband. Try to solve it rather than throwing it away.
I divorce with my ex due to in law issue . He as a man is not helping me as well. Gave him chance and he tot that he can continue to take me for granted . Everybody was so shock when I raise up the divorce issue . I had a 12 month old that time . I fight for no access no maintance . After which I change from joint custody to sole custody with his approval . I met my current 1 year later . He was good to my lo . We had another 2 more kids after that . My lo doesn't know his background , doesn't know about my ex . We live a lot happier now
Not sure if you and your husband will be open to marriage counseling. From what you have mentioned, it seemed as though the main issue is not so much between you and your husband, but more about handling your family members. Perhaps having a third party can help you focus on how both of you can better handle the situation? You can consider Singapore Counselling Service for professional help if you are keen to try: http://scc.sg/eng/index.php/counselling-services/
In my opinion, it's really not worth it to divorce esp it's just over his family's matter. Marriage is all about give & take, compromising & tolerance. It's good to go for Counselling which will helps to improve your marriage. As Long as there is love, there will be hope. Any barriers can be cleared. Most importantly both Husband n Wife must be on the same stand
Hope the information help. Usually mother will have the care and control. Like they say, hope you all can go through a counseling 1st before deciding on the outcome. Me and my husband once also need a 3rd party help for counseling and hence we come to an agreement and we have 2 kids now too.
I don't get it. Y need to separate because his family is horrible? Risk your family because of his? I suggest you your hub and child take some time away from that family. The problem is not you and hub, it is the meddling of people outside your nuclear family.
i also hv the same issue. my in laws has been hunting our marriages for a decades. even now hv bb also same. i also wanted separation n divorce. really so sick y we hv to hv such in laws.
Not worth it to give up your marriage over other ppl my dear, why don't you move out with hubby and LO?
Dont let another other family member affect you and your hubby.