Awww mama, I totally get it, mixed emotions ni memang normal, especially with unexpected pregnancy number 4! A few of us dalam circle went through similar scares with multiple C-sections and weight concerns, and honestly, the emotional rollercoaster is real, tapi the good news is most mums managed okay dengan proper support from their OB. Your husband sounds amazing, and yes, only pregnant mums truly understand lah the exact flavour of that fear-and-joy combo!
The obesity concern you mentioned, definitely worth having a serious chat with your specialist about your options for this pregnancy. A friend of mine had her 4th after 2 C-sections and was upfront with her doctor about her health worries; they worked out a proper plan together, which helped ease her mind loads. You've got time to prepare properly, get regular check-ups, maybe even work with a nutritionist if possible, tapi the key is don't carry this worry alone, okay? Your doctor needs to know exactly how you're feeling so they can guide you safely.
You're already being so thoughtful by thinking this through, that's half the battle! Sekarang focus on the checkups and lean on your husband and mummy friends for the emotional side. All the best, mama!
(Definitely check in with your OB/specialist about the weight and previous delivery history, they'll have the best plan for you specifically.)