54 Replies
Hello sister. First of all, congratulations. I sense you would like to keep the baby as you wanna hear stories of regret and remorse to affirm your decision. I do that too, sometimes. I want to let you know that whatever you are facing may be temporary. These are the factors and mitigating factors to consider before making the big decision. 1. Finances - if you're able to earn at least a substantial salary with cpf and still have at least 500 at the end of the month, then hey. You are able to save that money while putting aside some for Dr's visit and prepping for baby's arrival. 2. You and your partner's relationship. Is your partner a supportive, non abusive one that could help take care of the baby? Else, is your family members able to support you during this time? If yes to either one of this, then you are good to go. 3. Environment - housing, utilities, income and attention. All these are important to a newborn. Things most of us take for granted. 4. Mental health - no judgements on abortion. But are you able to handle it? Hormones, chemical imbalance in the body can sometimes drive you insane. So take a moment to consider this in its fullest. First of all, upon conception, a life isn't formed yet. What you have is a bunch of cells. This was clearly explained in the prolife vs prochoice arguments. And don't let anyone or anybody influence your decision. Because at the end of the day, you will be the one who have to make the decision no matter what it might be. All I can say is, if you are religious, leave your worries in prayer. They may be answered soon. I wish you a load of luck. And I'm sorry I can't be there for you. Hugs and kisses to you. Take care.
I didn't have an abortion, but I know of a friend who did. She was a year or two younger than me, but she was pregnant around the same time - I only knew about her abortion when she reached out to help me to prepare for my son's arrival! In fact, she told me that the guilt had eaten her up and she did everything she could under her child's would-have-been name to try and make up for it. I also had a friend who recently aborted within the last 6 months or so, because she felt that she wasn't ready for it - she doesn't talk about it but she kept herself more distant from me and my son, and I could see that her eyes changed when she looked at/talked about having kids. I don't know if she regretted it, but it has affected her one way or another. Whatever the reason you may think you're not ready, I'd suggest to talk to your husband/the child's father about it and discuss what you can do. I personally think that everyone makes a step in our lives for a reason, and that you wouldn't be given something you cannot handle. If it's about finances, there are many things/ways you could look for help with family service centres and financial help schemes - if it's about something else, sit down and just talk it through :)
Didnt happen to me but happened to a close friend of mine. She wasnt ready for a baby and found out about her pregnancy when she is 5 months pregnant. She didn’t suspect to be pregnant since her period has always been irregular. Once she found out both her husband and her decided for abortion. Its beeen 1 year half now and she is still suffering from nightmares and slight depression. She didnt have a choice at the time. Every night she had nightmare of her late child.. and eventhough she is stable to have a kid by now, she chosed not to as she is still traumatised.. she regret going for abortion that she made sure i take care of myself when im pregnant. She even told me she could take care of my child if i cant take care myself. But her tryin to conceive another one is not anywhere near the future. She is on implanon and will be continuing it for quite some time
My baby had Edward's syndrome through amnio fluid test at week 20 and it was my first child. After researching, more than 90% of them will die in the womb and couldn't live more than one year. My husband and I really wanted children in the future and it's very risky to keep my child then. I was advised by medical personnel to think carefully for my mental and physical strain with my family, many medical complications and unforeseen circumstances. So we chose to give up that child. It was a tough decision to make. Until now we still miss our child and still praying daily for him to be protected by the almighty lord above. If my child came into this world. My child would be 2 years old. The greatest blessing is to bear a healthy and strong child. Luckily, God never gave up on us and bless us with a miracle girl.
Hi, I support you in whatever decision you take. I think that it is your body and that you are in control. My ex boyfriend's ex girlfriend found out she was pregnant and they decided to go for an abortion since they knew they were not ready at that time. It was a very long and hard decision but they did it in the safest way possible. Fast forward to 2019, I am so happy to know they are both happy with their own partners and my ex had a cute little baby boy. :)
Please please rethink your decision. No one is really ready for kids but when you think of the little life that is growing inside you, its beautiful. I know of a friend who aborted her baby for a reason similar to yours but then later when she was ready for it, she had complications n miscarriages. Its a life we are talking about here. I really hope and pray you dont abort. God bless you.
u would want to consider hard. if u are well to do financially u should consider keeping it. as u age past 35 especially for women and singaporean ur chances of having kids drop very low. if u already have 5 to 6 kids, then u might have a practical reason. nobody is ready for kids. I know a couple prepare to be kidless couple till old. bang got 2 kids after 3 years.
How old is your #1 and why r u not ready? To rather see it as a problem, why not see it as a challenge? Challenge yourself to work it out. If this is not a problem u see in next 5 years, then it is not worth to think so much. Situation comes to you to let you learn to handle, if you can't now, it will still come back to you. Abortion is never a choice to go for.
Why do you think you are not ready? Do talk to your husband. List down your worries with the new baby coming and the possible solutions to tackle those worries. Work as a team with husband, don’t do this alone or force yourself to be super mum. Things may seem overwhelming now but if you take a step back to think, sometimes a lot of our worries can be solved.
How old is your child? How many kids do you currently have? I have two and i'm pregnant with the third one. Till now, i have yet to fully accept this baby. But i tell myself, baby is innocent. If i were to be very determine in not having a kid, i shld have done prevention and not considering abortion AFTER i pregnant
Daph Ne