I lost my best friend too. I had the same thoughts as you. I even dreamt about it. After all, we knew each other since 13.
The final straw for the end of the friendship might be a ridiculous reason in everyone’s eyes. But to me, it was a build up of many reasons. She wasn’t there when I needed her. She always prioritised her bf. I cherished our friendship and gave my time to her but it felt really one-way. At the end of it, she got angry because she couldn’t get what she wanted from me. This is also the first time I stood up for myself in this friendship.
I tried reaching out to her once but she didn’t respond. Tbh, I don’t even think I have done her any wrong but I cherish our friendship so much. So much that even though I know she’s not the type of friend I want my child to know, hang out and influenced by, I still try to give this broken friendship another chance.
Some memories and stories are meant to stay where they are. When nostalgia hits, be thankful we have the memories. Some of us might live in the memories but the other party might have moved on. Even if we reconnect, things might not be the same with the crack between us.
I hope you’re happy with your current life now. Take care!