Do u beat your baby when baby is cranky or keep crying non stop you have tried everything but still no use? I just slap his backside or shake him using both hand holding baby's arm ~ I m suspecting I am having depression~

During my ML I was alone taking care of LO. As a first time parent, the lack of experience & the lack of slp does makes me loses my cool easily. I am too guilty of scolding, hitting my LO's butt before. I feel sorry for what i have done, afterall what does the baby knows? I rmb once when I hit my LO's butt, the innocent eyes look back at me.. it makes me even more guilty. I too suspected I'm hving mild postpartum depression. It is important to let your spouse knows your situation. At least he will try to come back early & help out as much as possible. I told my husband to either take baby away or ask me to walk away when I started to get angry. Never handle a baby when you are angry. Just remind yourself this is just a phase, babies grow up very fast. The days are long but the years are short. Take care!