Sayang, first of all, take a deep breath, you are carrying so much right now, and it is okay to feel overwhelmed. From what I've heard among mums I know, if you are in a genuinely difficult situation, government hospitals do have a proper process where you would be seen by an O&G specialist and go through counselling first before any decision is made, so you won't be left to figure things out alone. My neighbour went through a very hard time financially and was told at a government klinik that there is a minimum 48-hour reflection period built into the process, which she actually appreciated because it gave her and her husband time to think clearly without pressure. Some mums have also said Pantai Hospital offers options counselling that is quite thorough and compassionate, though the cost difference between private and government is something worth considering given your situation. Whatever you decide, please do speak openly and honestly with your own doctor or O&G specialist first, they can advise you properly based on your specific health and circumstances, and you deserve that proper, safe guidance. Semoga dipermudahkan segala urusan you, dear.