Alah mummy, don't be too hard on yourself lah, the fact that you're reflecting on being a better mum already means you're doing great! I can feel the love you have for Mateen dalam setiap kata, and trust me, that's what matters most to him. Setahun dah, macam mana cepat sangat kan? A few of us mums were just talking about this, how time flies and how we all feel like we're never "enough", but our babies don't measure us by perfection, they measure us by presence and love. Keep creating those beautiful memories, bonda, you're doing amazing. Lillahi taala, semoga Allah bless your journey dengan Mateen dan the whole family