Tears, Strength, and Growing Love 🩵

It’s been two months of feeling down, nights filled with tears until I slowly fall asleep. Mornings are no different. I wake up with a heavy chest and teary eyes. Even during work, I quietly run to the restroom just to let it all out. It’s the only place I can cry without being seen. Each day feels like a mountain I have to climb. But despite everything, I choose to stand. I choose to move. I do what I can, however little it may be, just to survive the day. God knows how hard I try to eat, just to give my body something, because deep inside me, there’s someone who depends on me now. People always say, “Don’t cry when you’re pregnant, it’s not good for the baby,” but no one really talks about how deeply words and actions can cut through you, how vulnerable a pregnant woman becomes, how alone she can feel, how painful the silence of others can be. I know I’m not supposed to feel stressed, I know my emotions affect my baby. But sometimes, it feels like I have no one. My only companion has been my tears. I never wanted this pain. I never wanted to cry every day. But I can’t help it, especially when I feel so alone, like no one hears me, no one really sees how much I’m struggling. This is my first pregnancy. I imagined it to be filled with joy, excitement, and love. But instead, I’m left wondering why it feels so hard, why it hurts so much. I feel like I’m grieving something I can’t name. Still, in the quiet moments when the world feels too heavy, I place my hand over my belly and remember that someone is growing inside me. A little life that I already love with everything I have. And for that little life, I rise. I try. I keep going. To my baby, I’m so sorry for the sadness you may feel from me. You are not the cause of my tears. If anything, you are the reason I keep going. I promise I will do everything I can to make sure you never have to feel this kind of pain. I love you deeply, more than I ever thought possible. I can’t wait to hold you in my arms and let you feel the kind of love that heals every broken piece of me. 🩵 And to myself… I know it doesn’t feel like it now, but you are stronger than you think. This season will pass. These nights will not last forever. You are not weak for feeling things so deeply. You are human, and you are a mother already, doing the best you can. One day, you will look back on this and see that even through the pain, you kept going. You loved through the hurt. You showed up even when your heart was breaking. You are not alone. You are growing something beautiful, even in the middle of your sadness. And that, in itself, is something to be proud of. 🌻