Sayang, I hear you, the overwhelm is real, especially with a toddler at home and feeling unsupported. But please, reach out to a doctor or go to a clinic today, even just to talk through what you're feeling. This isn't something to handle alone at 4.30am. What you're describing, the mental load, worry about depression, feeling like your husband isn't there, that's urgent and worth getting proper support for, whether that's counselling, talking to your gynae, or even a trusted family member. A few of us mums have been in that dark space too, and getting help early made all the difference. You're not alone in this, and you deserve real support, not just answers online. Please call your clinic or KKM's hotline, okay? Sending you a hug.