I went through the same situation as you, and at 4weeks PP, I decided to give up on breastfeeding. It was causing me alot of stress, to the extent that I was constantly having high BP.
Before giving birth, I had a plan - which was to total breastfeed. I read up on breastfeeding, went for childbirth courses, bought breast pumps, milk storage bags, etc. After bb was delivered, I struggled hard with breastfeeding. Having constant thoughts on why I don’t have enough milk supply, engaged 2 different lactation consultant, stressing over people’s comment. I was sensitive over every comment that ppl made, such as “can afford to gain more weight”, “doesn’t seem to grow much” At that point of time, I was combination-feeding. I felt that I was obsessed with the idea of breastfeeding, and wanted to make it work no matter what.
My LO milk intake started to increase, and she started to fuss whenever I breastfeed her - perhaps due to slow flow/low milk supply. It honestly pains me to see that, even more than the fact that I couldn’t fully breastfeed her.
After making peace with myself, and deciding to stop, I’ve never been happier. I felt that I’m able to do more and spend more time with my LO.
I hope you have the strength to get through this. ❤️
Anonymous