Aww mama, I totally understand your feelings, c-section twice is tough, and you're not alone in this disappointment lah. A few of us in my mum group also went through the same thing, and honestly? We all felt that exact sadness and kecewa at first, especially when plans don't work out the way we hoped. But please know you did everything you could, and sometimes our bodies just need a different path to bring baby safely, that's not a reflection on you or lack of rezeki, it's just what worked for your babies. Ignore those comments from outsiders lah, they don't understand the heartache or how much you wanted normal delivery; what matters is that both your children are here and healthy because of your strength. Give yourself grace, mama, you still birthed them and went through major surgery, that takes incredible courage too.