7 Replies
Indeed. After #1, I met my friends twice a year. However, after #2, they stopped meeting me and I stopped trying. Because they don't seem to understand my children's needs. If you can set a date to go out with your friends without your children once in a while, you definitely can maintain your friendship. Alternatively, make new friends who are also parents as you have more common things to talk about. " Your interests have changed (did we mention diapers?), and the time and energy you once had for socializing is now usually reserved for your baby — or your bed, so you can catch up on your sleep. If you've left your job or put it on hold, you're now removed (both physically and emotionally) from your circle of work buddies. Also, and most unsettling, some of your unmarried or childless friends may be uncomfortable around you now that you're one of the mommy set. They may feel that you just have less in common, or they could be envious of your new situation. Sadly, some of those friendships may not survive the arrival of your baby. To preserve the ones that will, make sure to let your friends know that you are still (mostly) the same person you used to be, and that you still care about more than just baby stuff. Make time for them on a regular basis (even if that's just once a month) for lunch or a drink (without baby in tow). At first, stick to familiar topics — the shared interests that brought you together. You needn't make mention of the baby off-limits; good friends will always want to know how your little one is and about your new life. Just don't let baby talk monopolize the conversation. If, despite your best efforts, a friend still seems distant (or worse, views your baby and your new life with distaste), let the relationship lapse before you get any more frustrated with your former pal's disinterest. Don't write off every baby-wary buddy, though. You'll likely find that friendships that seemed strained after your baby arrived will renew when those women (or men) have their own kids." Quote from www.whattoexpect.com
Guess it is inevitable that your social life will change after having children. A lot of my friends preferred not to join the more regular dinners and others in the group understand. Still, it is important for you to remember that you are not just a mummy! When you feel the need to connect with someone (haha.. who is an adult and not your partner), just phone up your close friends and have a catch up session. During festive celebrations, bring your family for the bigger group gatherings. There is no need to socialize for the sake of socializing. A lot of my friends prefer not to join the regular gathering and be home for their family and the rest in the group understand. So, join only when you feel like it. Your friends will always be there to welcome your company. You have not lost them.. :)
Yes. Hence i join mummies group chat to make relevant friends. As we have more same topics to talk on. Once your kids bigger, you will have more times for your own, therefore, hang on mummy! I seldom go out with old friends but i went out often with new mummies friends instead, as get to bring kids out together, do same related things together. Everything can plan:)
I don't meet my married friends any more, unless we bump into each other in the professional setting. I'd meet my unmarried/single friends once in a blue moon when they cover over to my place to play with the little one. that's about it. Other than that, I've only been chatting with my mummies grp on WhatsApp.
Yes the circle do get smaller when ur kid is still young. Coz of the baby schedule it is hard to meet up with anyone. But once they start school, u will get to know their classmates' parents. And slowly u will build up a new circle of friends from there.
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yes I feel the same too. But you'll have new friends who have kids with the similar age with yours.